Rules Change
by arrowsandangels
Summary: Unlikely friendship. Explores relationship between time group arrives at the farm and time they leave the prison. Beth is almost 18 when Atlanta group arrives at the farm, and 19 when group arrives at the prison. The whole group makes appearances.
1. First Impressions

**A/N This first chapter is dense, I'll own that. Please read and give the next couple of chapters a chance. **

The first time he remembered seeing her, she was picking up rocks. They had just pulled into the Greene farm, and there she was collecting rocks in a wheelbarrow in those ridiculous short pants. He would have missed her altogether, if she hadn't been standing next to Shane who had buzzed his hair and was wearing equally ridiculous huge overalls. Something about the combination of those pants and the rocks stuck in his mind.

He hadn't thought much about her then. She was just part of the group at the farm. And he had other things to do. Later, during Otis's memorial service, he noticed her again as she put a rock on Otis's memorial. Her hair gathered around her head like a shiny, gold halo, still wearing those same ridiculous pants. Hershel read some scripture. Then as Shane told some story about how Otis died, Beth caught his eye as she stood next to Patricia and Maggie. He could see in her expression that she didn't believe Shane any more than he did. So, she was smart. She was observant, she heard the inconsistencies. And she was discreet. She didn't out Shane as a liar, at the memorial, in front of everybody. It was an interesting bit of information and he tucked it away for further consideration.

As long as he could remember, he had been on the outside. Just because the world changed, the people in it hadn't. Every day he saw their faces. They didn't have to say anything. Daryl knew what they thought of him. Hillbilly. Redneck. White trash. If the world hadn't changed they would never have welcomed him into their group. He had always been on the outside. And he still was.

He may be white trash, but he wasn't dumb. You couldn't, wouldn't survive in this world if you were dumb. He paid attention to details. That was how he knew that you had to hit the brain to kill walkers. He paid attention to what was going on around him, where the people around him were, what they were doing.. And he could read their faces, their eyes, their breathing. Funny how people are so quick to watch what they say, but their faces give them away. Time after time. That's how he knew what they thought of him. Not all of them, but enough.

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Looking back, Beth smiled as she remembered the first time she saw him. He was hard to miss on that big, noisy motorcycle. As the rest of the Rick's Atlanta group pulled into their driveway, he was leading the way. Followed by a small green car and an old RV. Then as the Atlanta group spilled out of their vehicles and were joined by those who were in the house, everyone seemed to be hugging and laughing and greeting each other. Sharing news of Carl, T-Dog, and the hunt for the little girl. Everyone except for Daryl. He was sort of standing back, watching, as if he really wasn't part of the group. And, he was right, he wasn't. But he didn't miss anything. She could tell.

Then, at Otis's memorial service, she couldn't help watching his face. There was intensity in his expression that the others lacked. An intensity that was at once fascinating and a little frightening. It wasn't obvious, but she could see it in his eyes. Standing there on the end, across from her. Listening as Shane told his story. Suddenly, the intensity, it made sense. He knew. She knew things had not happened the way Shane was describing them. She knew it, and now she knew he did too.

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The service over, it was time to start looking for Sophia. As Maggie, the older Greene girl, spread a map across the hood of the car, Daryl raked his eyes over her, as if seeing her for the first time. Where the younger girl had an air of innocence with her golden halo of hair and ridiculous pants, Maggie was the opposite. Maggie radiated sex. Even in the heat of the day, standing next to her father, she positively smoldered. After a quick discussion of who could and couldn't search that day, Maggie offered to go to the pharmacy. And Rick volunteered Glenn to go with her. With one last look at Maggie, Daryl smiled to himself and thought, good luck to you, Glenn. Hope you can keep up.

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As he was heading out to look for the little girl, Beth watched him from the porch. and overheard his conversation with Rick.

"Daryl, you okay on your own?"

"I'm better on my own."

"Hey. We got a base. We can get this search properly organized now."

"You got a point or are we just chattin'"

"My point is it lets you off the hook. You don't owe us anything."

"My other plans fell through."

He was rough looking, like he had had a hard life. And his voice was abrasive. If she had met him out on the road, she would have been afraid of him. And truth be told, even standing there on her porch watching and listening to him from a distance, she felt a little uncomfortable. Talking to Rick, he sounded angry, but she was pretty sure that was just a defensive move. From someone who already felt like any outsider, to reject the group before they could reject him.

It's a funny thing about power. People who have power sometimes aren't aware they have it. It's just a part of their life. And using it is as natural as breathing. Rick had power. He simply assumed he was the leader, and everyone else fell in line. Well, everyone except Shane, who kept circling around Lori like she was in heat. Subtly challenging Rick for control. Unaware that everyone, except possibly Rick, was fully aware of what he was doing.

On the other side, people without power, or people who are further down on the power scale – is there such a thing as a power scale? – people without power or as much power are acutely aware of that fact. Watching the interaction between Daryl and Rick, it was clear to Beth that Daryl didn't feel he had much power in that relationship. Rick was busy being the leader, because that's what Rick was. And leaders lead. Rick seemed to be a straight up kind of man, with no deceit or attempt at manipulation in his choices or decisions. And as leader, he was giving Daryl options, he was trying to be nice saying 'You don't have to go out and search for the little girl on your own if you don't want to.'

Unfortunately, what Daryl heard was, 'You don't have to bother, because you're really not part of us. You're not part of the group.' Because of his own brokenness and feeling of powerlessness as an outsider, he was throwing up walls. Protecting himself. He couldn't hear that Rick was just being nice. Even now she smiled as she remembered his comment, "My other plans fell through." She knew he wanted to be a part of that group. She could see the pull towards these people in his eyes. He was already feeling a connection to them. Even as he tried to back away and protect himself from feeling it.

For Beth, the rest of the day was one of chores and helping her father with Carl. One activity seamlessly bleeding into the next. But, her internal conversation kept going back to Otis' service and what she had witnessed from the porch. As rough as he appeared, he was the most interesting person of the group. And she tried to think of an excuse to talk to him. When he finally returned from his search, she watched from the porch as he took a Cherokee Rose in to the RV for the little girls mama. For such a rough man, there was tenderness and compassion in his actions and his face. He definitely wanted to be one of them, even if he didn't know it yet. He was getting more interesting all the time.


	2. Hero

Chapter 2 - Hero

Rick and Lori. Lori and Rick. From where he was sitting at the foot of the tree, Shane could see their shadows inside their tent. First she's telling him to stay, that she doesn't want him to leave. And then she's running back to Rick. Looking at their tent, he could see her shadow, see that she was disrobing. And he knew that in a minute she would be laying down, with Rick. Their light was going out, but he knew what they were doing. Shane took a sip from a flask he had found on the highway. Thinking to himself that he should have cut out when he had the chance.

Looking over at the tent, he took another sip, enjoying the burn in his throat. In his mind he was playing out images of Lori smiling, at him. Lori taking her shirt off, for him. Lori frightened, and depending on him. She never looked at Rick that way, not anymore. Rick didn't deserve her. Rick couldn't protect her. Or Carl. Hell, Rick was more concerned about 'the group' than he was his own family. Shane rubbed his head, and found himself quickly blinking back images of Otis, as he listened to the sounds of muffled moans and heavy breathing coming from the tent. He scowled at the thought of what was going on in that tent, as he took another sip. And he knew that HE should have been the one in that tent with Lori.

Hearing a noise behind him, he stood and looked around. Squinting into the darkness he saw her. What was her name? The younger one, cute, with the pulled back hair and tight little jeans. He took another sip, twisted the cap back on, slid the bottle into his back pocket and started walking towards her in the darkness.

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The tension between Shane, Rick and Lori was palpable, to anyone who was paying attention. And Daryl always paid attention. Sitting outside his tent, he wasn't surprised to see Shane watching Rick and Lori's tent. Especially with how Lori was encouraging Shane, even as she was playing devoted wife with Rick. Not only was Daryl not surprised, he would have been shocked if Shane wasn't watching the tent. Before Rick had joined the group, Shane had a barely controlled possessive, controlling, aggressive bend. Now, Shane was perched right on the edge. His combined desire for Lori, guilt over Otis and his competition with Rick for Lori and leadership of the group were putting his aggression into overdrive.

Tonight as Daryl watched, he saw Shane drinking from a flask, presumably something alcoholic. This was a dangerous combination for anyone who stumbled into his path. Daryl heard the same noise Shane heard. He watched as Shane stood and began walking into the darkness. Rubbing his bottom lip, Daryl wondered what it was that Shane going after.

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Beth's ride lasted longer than she intended. She needed time away from the rest to think about what she thought she saw. To make sure that she was processing things correctly. The story Shane told. About Otis covering him so he could get away. That nonsense about "gotta save the boy." It sounded good to Patricia, it gave Otis's death meaning. But it simply didn't make sense. Somehow Shane had ended up with Otis's gun. How could Otis have covered him without a gun? For over an hour she rode, turning these thoughts over in her mind. Trying to find an explanation that didn't sound like Shane sacrificed Otis. Abandoning him and leaving him for dead, so he could get away.

When she finally returned to the stable, her horse needed to be cooled off and cared for before she could go in. Beth took her time brushing her, washing away the saddle marks, checking her hooves, and scratching her between the ears. Later, as she walked out of the stable, she was surprised to see the sun had already set and the air had cooled off. Crossing her arms across her chest, she headed for the house at a brisk pace.

Beth was so focused on getting to the house, she didn't see Shane standing by the little grove of trees. She didn't see him take a sip from the flask before he put it back in his pocket. She didn't notice him stepping out in front of her, until she heard his voice. "Where you going in such a hurry?" He was so close, she could feel his breath on her face. He smelled of alcohol, sweat, and sex. His breathing was ragged, and as he leaned in towards her she involuntarily gasped as she tried to get away from him. Backing up in the dark, she stumbled slightly, and righting herself found her back against a tree.

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Slowly, unstretching his stiff muscles, Daryl stood, fluidly picking up his crossbow, holding it across his chest. He'd had it so long, it was almost a part of him. Silently he began walking in Shane's direction. He had only gone a short distance when he heard the low roll of voices. Still too far to make out actual words, he took a few steps closer. He recognized Shane's voice, talking to one of the Greene girls. He was asking her how old she was. Must be the younger one. Her voice was soft, scared, and he couldn't understand the answer. Taking a few steps closer, he could see Shane's back. Adjusting his view slightly, he saw Shane had the younger Greene backed up against a tree. His hand was resting on the tree next to the right side of her face and he was leaning into her space, effectively trapping her there.

With a quiet disgusted sigh, Daryl spit, cleared his throat and loudly stepped out into the open. Looking from Shane's back to the teen trapped in front of him, he saw her eyes move to focus on him. They were large, pleading. The change in her focus caused Shane to turn his head back to look at him. He had a lazy, predatory smile on his face. "Hey. What's goin' on?"

The lazy look never left Shane's face, "Bethy and I are just talking. Aren't we Bethy?" Her only response was a slight quickening of her breath, as she continued to stare at Daryl.

"Yeah. Why don't you go see if Andrea's still awake. You can…talk to her." Daryl's voice was smooth, but the undertone was threatening, and his eyes were dark.

Shane protested, with the same smile, "Hey man, we're just havin…"

Daryl cut him off, closing the distance between them and raising his crossbow slightly, "No, I think you're done. Come on Beth, I'll walk you up to the house." For the briefest moment, as if assessing his options, with his forehead and nose doing that angry wrinkle thing, Shane looked at Daryl. He took in the set of his shoulders and how he was holding his crossbow. His finger tightening on the trigger. Then, he dropped his hand and took a step back from the frightened teen. Now his whole face was in that angry mode.

But, with silk in his voice and a forced smile on his face, he said simply "Well that there sounds like a good idea. You have a good night, Bethy. And uh, we'll catch up tomorrow." Then, with a look at Daryl that said 'this isn't over,' he turned and stalked off.

With a slight nod towards the house, Daryl said simply "Come on." Then he turned and started towards the house, leaving Beth to scurry to catch up with him.

"Thank you," she whispered as she hurried to keep up with his longer steps. Even though she had been observing him, she didn't know Daryl. And he didn't know her. But tonight, he was her hero. Silently they walked up to the house together. After Beth got to the top of the steps, she paused just outside the door, turned to thank him again and say, she wasn't sure what.

But, he cut her off saying simply "Be careful out here. It can be dangerous after dark." So far walkers hadn't been a problem on the Greene farm. Too bad the same couldn't be said about the people. After a quick walk around their camp, just to make sure everyone was where they were supposed to be, Daryl settled in for the night.


	3. Demons

Chapter 3 - Demons

It was a shock to see Rick and Shane carrying Daryl into the house. Dragging him actually. He looked dead, but he was probably just passed out from his injuries. Although, with so much dirt and blood on him, it was hard to tell just what was wrong. Beth was quick to volunteer to help her father. And, trying not to look too interested in the new patient, she hurried to get water and towels to start cleaning him up.

Under her fathers' direction and watchful eye, Beth began carefully washing his face and the injury to his head with a warm wash cloth. As the dirt and blood were washed away, she had the thought that for an older man, he had a nice face. A bit rough, worn even, but nice. Then, taking the scissors, she gently cut off the shirt he was wearing. With Rick's help, she was able to sponge away the dirt and blood from the wounds on his back and side, and get most of the crud out of his hair.

Just a few hours earlier he had seemed invincible. Rescuing her from a bad situation. Walking her home. He was her hero. And now. Lying in bed, getting stitches, hearing how lucky he was that the arrow went through like it did, where it did, and that the bullet only grazed him. Now he no longer seemed invincible. In fact, he looked broken and vulnerable. He had stepped up and looked out for her when he didn't have to, at a time when she needed someone. Now, he needed someone to look out for him. But with the stitches and bandages in place, her father shooed her out of the room so he could rest.

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Dinner and then clean up seemed to go on forever. Beth just wanted to peak back in, maybe talk for a little bit. But it was three hours before she could slip away and check on him. Creeping in, in her socks, she curled up in the chair by the bed, her knees pulled up to her chest. And simply sat for a bit, watching him sleep. Stretched out in the bed, gauze around his head, covered by a light blanket up to his armpits. Breathing softly, steadily. After 15 minutes, she began clearing her throat and making noise until he finally opened his eyes. Slowly at first, then with a surprised look.

Jumping and grabbing at the blanket to pull it closer, he barked, "What the hell! Why are you in here? What do you want?"

Stunned by his reaction, she stuttered "I… I just came to get your dirty dishes."

Glaring over the top of the blankets, "They're over there. Get out of here, girl! You can't be sittin' around where a man's sleepin'."

His tone and comments felt harsh and her face fell. "Oh. I didn't think about that. I just wanted someone different to talk to. And you were so nice to me last night that, I don't know." Slowly she unfolded her legs from the chair and stood up. As she picked up dishes and turned to leave, she murmured, "I'm sorry. I won't bother you again."

Even as Daryl glared at her over the blanket, there was a part of him that was secretly pleased that in searching out someone different to talk to, she picked him. Scowling, "Tomorrow. Come by our camp."

Immediately Beth perked up, even her hair seemed to have more bounce. "Really? Okay! Bye!" She chirped, and then virtually danced out of the room. As she closed the bedroom door, he scowled into the pillow as he considered what he had just agreed to. Talking to a teenager, he seriously needed to have his head examined. Eventually he drifted off to a restless night of tortured dreams, of a muddy doll languishing by a stream while Merle chased girls with golden halos.

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Lying in his tent, he saw her making her way towards their camp, so he stood up and went outside and found a place to sit by the trees. The rest of the group was nearby, engaged in various activities. With a shy smile she walked up, saying "Hi. Are you feeling better today?'

"Yeah. Why do want to talk to me? Why don't you go talk to Lori or Carol?"

"I don't need a mama. I need a friend."

"What about that boy, Jimmy? Why don't you talk to him?

"Jimmy has been on the farm with us for months. Besides, he has one of those sweet faces that teachers and parents love. But underneath he's really conniving. I know my daddy thinks he has to chase "us" around all the time, but really it's just Jimmy he needs to keep an eye on. He doesn't want to just be friends."

Nodding, he continued, "Carl?"

"He's 12. And he's still recovering from his gunshot."

With a spit, "Okay, okay." Apparently satisfied with her answers, he waved a hand for her to sit down. Then, sitting side by side, not looking at her, he waited.

"Ever since things got bad, my dad hasn't let me leave the farm. It's just been us, for months. Dad lets me ride around the farm, but when I get back, it's still just us. And I'm so tired of Maggie and Patricia," Practically spitting, she added "and Jimmy." After a brief pause, Beth asked, "So, what's it like out there? Maggie said there's a big traffic mess on the highway. Is it really bad?"

Daryl nodded, "Umm. Some places are worse than others. You're lucky you have the farm. It hasn't really gotten to you yet. Maybe it won't." For several minutes Beth quizzed Daryl about what it was really like outside the farm. But, the idea that walkers were actually dead, that the person they had been was gone and there was no cure, seemed to escape her. Whether it was denial or because she simply didn't understand, not having ever actually encountered a walker, Daryl didn't know. Finally, he gave up attempting to explain.

After a few minutes of sitting in a somewhat comfortable silence, Beth softly said, "I saw your tattoos. On your back. Yesterday. They're kind of cool, in a creepy sort of way. Why did you get those devils or demons or whatever they are?"

He smiled noticing she still had that gold halo, and with the slightest hesitation began, "So that's it? You want to know about my tattoos?" Nodding, "Okay. A gypsy fortune teller told me that I was being pursued by demons. Three demons. So I decided to get the tattoos to remind myself not to give in to the demon that's after me." Rubbing his lower lip thoughtfully, he continued. "Or the demons that live in me."

Wrinkling her nose, Beth asked "What kind of demon is after you?"

With a cheerless smile, as if he were futile trying to conceal something he found heartbreaking. "The one on my arm, that's the demon that's after me. If I didn't have to look at it every day, I might forget it's a demon. And think it's just normal."

Wide eyed she asked, "What kind of demon is it?"

Shaking his head forlornly, he wondered how he could tell her, or anyone, that the demon who pursued him was his own brother. He could barely admit to himself that it was Merle. That when he looked in the mirror, he was terrified that he would become Merle. And he hated everything that Merle did, everything that Merle stood for. Despite being his brother, his blood, Merle embodied everything that was ugly in the world. Racism, hatred, violence. And that was just the obvious stuff.

When he thought he was getting free of him, moving out of his shadow, Merle shows up again in a vision. Haunting him, taunting him. Reminding him of where he came from, and that good people like this would never really accept him. That to them, he was just redneck trash. Telling him that sooner or later Rick and the rest would kick him to the curb. And Daryl was terrified that maybe Merle was right.

He couldn't tell her that, he couldn't tell anybody that. Suddenly, the vision of Merle popped into his head again, asking if he liked little girls, and with an unexpected harshness Daryl blurted out "How old are you girl? Does your dad know you're talking to me?"

Beth's head jerked back as if she had been slapped, "I, I'm, umm. He knows I came out here." And relaxing a little she added, "As long as I'm not out sitting with Jimmy, he's happy. Besides, right now he's all worried about what Glenn and Maggie are up to. He keeps asking Maggie about 'that Asian boy.'"

With that the light seemed to come back into her face, and Daryl couldn't help smiling back at her. He briefly thought about Maggie and what he had seen in her eyes, on her face, "Yeah, he oughta worry 'bout those two."

With that, Beth reminded him, "You never told me what kind of demon is after you."

"Yeah, and you never tell me how old you are." He mumbled.

"I'm almost 18. In school they taught us that the age of consent in Georgia is 16, so… I guess I'm old enough to sit here and talk to you." She paused, "Now that you know how old I am, you have to tell me what kind of demon is after you."

Daryl let out a quiet sigh. "The demon on my arm reminds me of my brother, Merle."

His answer momentarily took her breath away. "Oh." He must have been a terrible brother or a terrible person or both, for Daryl to think of him as a demon, she thought. She really would have liked to hear more about that, but somehow the fact that he had shared that it was his brother that was the demon, that seemed like a huge admission. Like the sharing of a dark secret that had been kept for a long time. So, the details would have to wait. "And the demons on your back?"

"I uh, I don't know." Daryl absently rubbed his lower lip, and his eyes suddenly seemed to be looking at something far away. Beth waited, and after what seemed like a long time, he quietly said, "They're regrets mostly."

"What kind of regrets?

"The top one is regrets for things I've done."

"Are there very many?"

"Yeah, I've done a lot of things. And no, I'm not going to tell you any of them."

"Okay. Well, what about the bottom one."

"That's for things I didn't do, that I should have or wish I would have. Things that I'm going to regret if I don't do 'em." Memories of the college girls Merle brought home bubbled to the surface. Girls who thought they were getting a 'bad boy' and ended up with the devil. And long buried images of his mom, and his guilt over not being able to protect her.

There was no way he was going to tell her that it was his demon reminder which made him get up and talk to Shane the night before and walk her home. It was the demon that told him he would be responsible for what happened to her if Shane stepped over the line and he did nothing to stop him, when he could have. And he definitely wasn't going to tell her he thought that had been a real possibility.

"Well, what kinds of things? Like looking for that little girl?"

"Sophia. Her name is Sophia. If I didn't look for her, I don' know. Every kid needs somebody to look out for 'em. And I'm used to the woods. So, yeah. Like Sophia."

"Beth! I need you up here!" Hershel's voice boomed around them. And as Beth scrambled to stand up she had the thought that Daryl seemed to have a well of secrets that he had never shared. And. that made him even more interesting.


	4. Strong

Chapter 4 - Strong

Sitting on the front porch, her face was so pale, she almost blended into the background. Even her eyes seemed washed out. Only her hair was still gold. Although instead of forming a halo around her face, it was hanging like a limp curtain across her shoulders. Sitting in the rocking chair, with Patricia hovering behind her, she looked like a broken doll. As Patricia began brushing her hair, Beth put her hand up in a gesture to stop. "Please. You don't have to do that. I'm okay. I just want to sit outside and enjoy the breeze."

As the cool air played across her face, her mind kept drifting back to that awful day. It had started out nice enough. After going out with Maggie to take some peaches and jerky to the group, she had sat with Daryl for a few minutes to talk. It was nothing serious. The group was getting ready to go out and look for Sophia. And if anyone could find Sophia, it was Daryl.

Then, everything got messed up. Rick going with her dad. Shane passing out guns. Getting the group all riled up about the barn. And who or what was in it. Then it started. Those things, those grotesque caricatures of people she loved coming out of the barn. Being gunned down in front of her. Even her mom. And finally Sophia. If all that wasn't bad enough, when she went to her mother's body, it attacked her.

Her dad said she went into a catatonic state, that she retreated into herself for a couple of days. That wasn't true. When those things came out of the barn, she knew. She finally understood what Daryl had been trying to tell her. She felt like she had been physically beaten. Smacked with the reality that life, the world as she knew it was gone. And life in the new world looked pointless.

Everything important in life, everything she had looked forward to and taken for granted, was suddenly irrelevant. SAT scores didn't matter. There would be no wedding with nine bridesmaids after college, no groom, no college, no high school graduation, not even a boyfriend. Just the farm until those things finally attacked and torn her apart. Or she was turned into one of those things and tore the people she loved to pieces.

It was in a wave of despondency and self-pity that she made a half-hearted attempt at ending her life. But even as she pressed the broken glass to her wrist, she knew she didn't really want to die. She felt life was still calling to her. But what kind of life would she have? And with who?

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Clucking, like a mother hen with a disobedient chick, Patricia continued brushing Beth's hair. "I know I don't have to, but you will feel better."

"Really, I'm fine. You don't have to babysit me. Okay?" Beth offered Patricia a weak smile, which she hoped would convince her to leave her alone.

Patricia lowered the hairbrush to her lap as she sat on edge of the porch railing facing her young charge. "Honey, I know you want me to leave. But, your daddy doesn't want you to be left alone yet. So…"

Her last comment was cut off, "I got this." Daryl's sudden appearance in front of the porch startled both women. And served to immediately bring a fresh, genuine smile to Beth's face.

With an expression of gratitude, Patricia responded, "Alright, but only for a few minutes. I'll just be inside."

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The day after their first conversation, Maggie had shown up at his tent saying, "My dad wants to talk to you." Ten minutes later as he was standing in their front room Hershel informed him, "I appreciate you walking my Beth home the other night. She seems to have taken quite a shine to you, which I do not understand. But, I would be grateful if you could keep an eye on her around your camp while you folks are here." And as he nodded his consent to keeping an eye on her, Hershel felt compelled to add, "Just keep in mind that she is still a child. She won't be 18 for another month." What the hell! Who did these people think he was? Shane? Merle?

Now, Beth seemed so happy to see him that he didn't have the heart to tell her that her dad had sent Maggie again. This time to ask him to come by and visit her. Since their first conversation, she had somehow managed to show up at their camp, several times, just to talk. And while she was the one who, until this moment, had always sought him out, he had come to enjoy their conversations.

Beth had a softness that was more than youthful naivety. It was an air of innocence that was accepting of him and who he was. She didn't seem to care what other people thought about him or where he came from. Instead, she was interested in what he had to say. She accepted whatever he had to share. However limited it was. And, truthfully, he sort of liked the idea that he was someone's 'hero.' Even if that someone was just a kid. No one had ever expected anything from him before. No one had ever looked up to him before. And he had no intention of letting her down.

Every kid needed someone to look out for them. In this new world that meant someone who could do more than just pass out aspirin or remind boyfriends to keep one foot on the floor. Anyone who was young or weak was vulnerable and Beth was both. Daryl had appointed himself her protector or guardian. Carl had his parents, and now Beth had him.

Until they had cleared the barn, Beth and her father thought walkers were simply sick people. Now that they knew the truth Daryl wasn't convinced her father could protect her from walkers. Right now she certainly couldn't protect herself. And walkers weren't the only threat. Following his 'chat' with Randall, it was obvious that people may be an even greater threat than walkers ever were.

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After climbing the porch steps, Daryl leaned against the porch rail. "Feeling better?"

Absently rubbing the gauze at her wrists, she looking up at him and replied, "Yeah. I guess so."

"Good. Let's walk. It'll help you get your strength back."

Walking, moving actually, didn't sound very appealing at the moment. Her arms and legs were so heavy, she wasn't sure she would be able to even get off the porch. But, her father had said the same thing to her, so reluctantly she pulled her hair back into a loose ponytail and nodded. "Okay. A short walk. Then maybe some lemonade."

Silently, Daryl reached out and grabbed her upper arm to help her stand up, and walk down the steps. Her legs were as weak and unsteady as a newborn foal. He suppressed a smile, as he noticed that with the ponytail her halo was back. He didn't know why, but he liked that gold halo of hers. Slowly they started across the grass together, Daryl still supporting her. After they had gone a few feet, he cleared his throat and asked "So, what happened?"

Beth looked off into the distance, her eyes refusing to meet his. With a small shrug she said "I don't know."

Still holding onto her arm, Daryl gave it a small shake. "Yes you do."

Still looking into the distance, as if there was something calling to her on the horizon, in a flat voice she started, "Until that day at the barn, I thought that this was temporary. That I would wake up one day and life would be back to the way it used to be. That I would go back to school and things would just sort of pick up where they left off."

Looking down at her, Daryl nodded, and waited. In many ways this felt like just another normal conversation for them.

"After the walkers came out, and Shawn and my mom... I just freaked out. I guess I lost my way for awhile, the world suddenly seemed so bleak." Pausing, she sucked in her breath before turning her head to look up at him. "But, I'm better now. I'm going to be okay."

They continued walking together silently, Daryl shortening his steps to match hers. Instead of making her scurry to keep up with him.

Finally Beth broke the silence. "Life is never going to be same as it was, is it?" Her voice had an air of sadness as she looked up at him.

With a small sigh, unwilling to admit that in many ways life really hadn't changed all that much for him, "Life is always changin'. We just have to change with it." Somehow, that had seemed more comforting in his head then when he said it out loud. Continuing in a quiet voice, intended only for her, he said "Walkers are getting' closer. We found seven inside the fence yesterday. And more are comin'. I need you to be strong."

Stopping, "What?" The surprise and disbelief in her voice was heavy. The farm was their refuge. Since that day at the barn, she knew there would be walkers eventually. But she hadn't realized it would be so soon. And why would he say that **He** needed her to be strong? That must have been a mistake. He must have meant simply that **She** needed to be strong.

With a gentle tug on her arm, "Keep walking. I don't want to scare you, but they're comin' and you gotta be ready. You gotta be able to protect yourself. I'll get you a knife and a gun. And teach you how to use them." That's what he told her. What he wanted to say was, sooner or later they would have to leave the farm. That he had promised her dad that he would look out for her. That he had made a personal commitment to protect her. And there was no way he was going to fail at that. But, he wouldn't always be able to walk next to her.

If she was going to survive, she had to learn to defend herself. From walkers and whatever or whoever else they encountered on the road. That meant she had to be tough, physically and mentally. She had to be able to fight. She had to be strong. And as they walked, he felt his inner demons driving him.


	5. Thunderstorm

Chapter 5 - Thunderstorm

The end came sooner than expected. It seemed like one minute they were gathered in the living room, anxiously waiting for Rick to come in with news on Randall and the next minute they were all on the porch. Staring out at the fields, looking for Rick or Shane, waiting to see who would emerge. That's when the world collapsed. The barn went up in flames as walkers started streaming out of the woods, headed for the house. The two groups seamlessly melded into one. In a blink, Beth understood why Daryl insisted that she had to get strong. After futile trying to hold them off, they finally had to run. And they'd been running ever since.

Place to place, house to house. Always on the hunt for food, for water, for gas, for a sanctuary where they could stay for more than a night. Sometimes they found a house or group of houses where they could rest for a few days. But it seemed they were never in the same place longer than three or four nights. Most times only one or two. At times they were even reduced to sleeping in cars or outside. The cars were cramped, but outside was the worst. Even with people taking turns on watch, outside they were exposed and vulnerable.

While the running was hard, as a group they grew tight. Being together, generally all in the same place, 24 hours a day, there weren't many secrets. Privacy, even at night, was mostly an illusion. It meant either turning your back or the rest of the group cooperatively turning theirs. And actively not listening to whatever was going on around you. Sometimes Maggie and Glenn or Rick and Lori would go off to a private bedroom for a night. But most of the time, they all slept together in the living room.

The new world reality said the way for them to be safe, was to stand together. But the honest truth was they simply couldn't bear to be apart. Like a three dimensional puzzle, they fit together perfectly. Every piece needed and necessary. As a group, they were interconnected and only complete when they were all together. They needed to be able to see, hear, even smell each other. Speaking had overwhelmingly been replaced by looks, nods and whistles. They could almost read each other's faces, eyes, thoughts. And when someone strayed too far, the group felt incomplete and as a group went looking for their missing piece.

In the midst of all this new togetherness, Beth still found, no made, opportunities to talk to Daryl. Apart from the group. With so much self imposed pressure on Daryl to keep the group safe, Beth tried to think of things to help him relax. Even if only for a few minutes. She spent time every day trying to think of things to tell him. Anything to make him smile and forget about the pressure or grimness of their life now.

As they picked through houses, she was always on the lookout for cigarettes. Something she knew he enjoyed. While she was always pleased when she found some, she knew he was equally pleased that she cared enough to look. And as he relaxed with a cigarette, he was more inclined to share part of himself.

For his part, Daryl would never admit to anyone that he looked forward to seeing her gold halo coming towards him. Or the silly stories she told. Or her observations about the rest of their group. Most of which he had already thought himself, but when she said them, they somehow sounded more interesting. Even profound. Just the sound of her voice made him smile. As time went on, he found himself questioning if it was her voice and presence he enjoyed? Or was it that she looked up to and depended on him? Or, more likely, some combination of the two.

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With his increased responsibility to the safety of the group, Daryl's inner demons never ceased their twitching. Clawing at him even during his waking hours. Demons which kept his commitment to her safety always in the front of his mind.

He began finding opportunities to spend time with her. Teaching her how to defend herself, using a practice walker safely pinned to a tree.

"No, wrap your hand all the way around it. Blade pointing down, not at your face. Hold it like a stake." His rough hand wrapped around her smaller one. Adjusting her grip, squeezing slightly to make her tighten her hold on the knife, he continued. "That's better. Remember, you have to hit the brain." Releasing her hand, he nodded for her to practice, "Okay. Middle of the forehead. Hard. Just..."

As her knife pierced the rotting skin and the darkened walker blood appeared, Beth's hand jerked open. Releasing the knife, she stared at the walker as the knife clattered to the ground.

"Pick it up and try again."

With a heavy sigh, Beth looked down at the knife lying at her feet. Pushing some stray strands of hair off her face with the back of her hand, she looked up at him and said, "I don't know if I can do this Daryl." Her awkwardness in holding and handling a knife would have been laughable, if the lesson wasn't so important.

Verbally pushing her, "You can. Pick up the knife and try again." His persistence and patience in making her practice surprised even him.

Beth looked between the knife, the walker, and Daryl. "I don't feel good about this. Someone loved him. I know he isn't who he used to be, but… When you use a knife, it's personal."

If it had been anyone else in the group making that statement, he would have given up and walked away. Instead, he silently stared at her for a few seconds, looked over at the walker, and scowled as he picked up the knife himself. Pushing it back into her hands, with a rough voice he said, "It's not a him anymore and if you don't personally kill it, it's going to kill you. Or someone else." When she didn't move quickly enough, Daryl's eyes narrowed and with the same rough voice he continued, saying "I can't always be here. Killing walkers isn't optional. Try it again!"

It was a slow process, but eventually, she became proficient in using her knife to take out walkers.

As they picked through neighborhoods, he searched for a crowbar and an axe. Daryl thought they would be the lightest and most effective silent weapons against walkers, when she was on point. Then he showed her how to use them, for the maximum amount of effectiveness with the least amount of work. Finally, he found gloves for her, so she wouldn't tear up her hands. And he kept his demons at bay.

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It had been a cold day. A heavy dampness clung to her skin and filled her nose. Beth was glad when they finally found a house to take refuge in. As the heaviness of day dissolved into night, the dampness turned to rain. Starting as a reluctant drizzle, it quickly advanced to a hard driving heavy metal beat. It was unrelenting, pounding against the roof, the windows, and the siding.

Stretching out on her back, the sound initially lulled Beth into a deep, restful sleep. The consistent pounding of the rain creating a shield around the house. Part way through the night though, the rhythmic sound of the rain was split by the sudden crash of thunder and flash of lightning.

Beth's eyes jerked open, her senses suddenly on high alert. Lying under her blanket, her eyes grew round as she looked out the uncovered window at the light show outside. On the farm, she had loved thunderstorms at night. The sound of rain drumming on the roof was comforting. And the brightness of the lightening as it slashed through the darkness, revealing the barns and fields. Sometimes she could see all the way to the stable. But now, these storms just meant that in the morning it would be steamy and muddy, and any walkers in the area would be riled up.

Covering her ears, she tried unsuccessfully to shut out the loud, threatening crash of thunder, which seemed to be alerting the undead to their presence. Shadows pushed in with every flash of lightening. And despite closing her eyes, she was sure she saw fingers creeping up the windows, searching for any weakness in the glass.

Her breathing ragged, she finally gave up trying to sleep and pushed herself up. As she worked to even out her breathing, she realized that she was the only one awake. Blinking she wondered, why isn't everyone awake? How could they sleep through this? After several minutes, sucking in her breath and biting the inside of her lower lip, she grabbed her blanket and scooted over to where Daryl was asleep on his side.

As quickly and quietly as she could, she stretched out next to him. Her backside bumped up against him. Her blanket laying across her knees, resting her head on her arm, she already felt warm. Lying next to Daryl was like lying next to a furnace, as heat seemed to roll off of him.

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Her unexpected presence pulled him from his sleep. Even in his groggy state, he knew it was her. He could smell her. Quietly grunting, Daryl raised his head and looked down at her. "You cold?"

Without turning her head to look at him, Beth whispered, "No."

"Scared?"

"A little." A slight tremble of her thin frame betrayed her fear.

"Okay." With a sigh, Daryl pulled her blanket up over her. Wrapping his arm around her waist he gently pulled her in, as a parent would a frightened child. Then with an unexpected tenderness, from the depths of a memory he held close to his heart, he began softly whispering a lullaby in her ear.

Surprised at first by the song, Beth quickly relaxed into his comforting closeness. Her lips settled into a half smile as the tension drained from her body. The heat which poured off of him covered her and she breathed in the smell of his man-ness. And with his scruffy stubble scratching at her neck, she drifted off to sleep listening to his quiet raspy voice. Her fear at bay for the night.

And Daryl eventually drifted off to the peaceful, dreamless sleep he craved.


	6. Intentions

Chapter 6 - Intentions

Daylight came too soon. When Daryl awoke, he was relieved to find that the rest of the group was still sleeping. And sometime during the night, Beth had rolled or moved away from him. And him from her. Letting out a quiet sigh of relief, he stretched and made his way outside. Grateful for a few minutes alone. The humidity, which nearly always followed the rain, was heavy and oppressive. The ground was still wet, sticky with mud. It was going to be a difficult day to be on the road.

Before he had a chance to really collect his thoughts, the group had begun to stir. And almost as one, began silently heading out single file. Carrying their gear. Looking as if they were embarking on a grand adventure, instead of walking back into the grim reality of scarcity and fear their daily lives had become.

As they piled in the cars, Rick walked over to where Daryl was standing by his bike. "Hey, what's with you and Beth?"

Pulling his crossbow closer, with a defensive scowl, "What?"

Looking around at the group, seeing no one was close enough to hear their conversation, Rick pressed on. "Last night. You think nobody would notice?"

Quietly Daryl responded, "It's not like that. She's a kid. She was scared. That's all." Shaking his head, his scowl deepened. What's wrong with these people? Trying to make something out of nothing. Out of friendship. Pfft.

Rick cocked an eyebrow as he scrutinized the other man's face. "You sure? Since the world changed, people grow up fast." With that, both men involuntarily glanced over at Carl. At just 13, he had his big ass gun drawn and was on point. Something that would have been unthinkable, just one year earlier. Rick turned back to face Daryl, "She's 18 now. You have to find happiness where you can."

"I got happiness." Some people don't know when to quit. This was not a conversation Daryl wanted, especially first thing in the morning. And he found his anger which always seemed to be simmering just below the surface threatening to bubble up and over. Fueled by Rick's persistence.

"Look, it's just… I been watching you two. She makes you smile, relax. And your eyes find her." Rick nodded, as his gaze drifted over to Lori, and then to Beth. Shifting his gaze back to Daryl, "I think you should talk to Hershel."

Daryl snapped, "I said it's not like that! And I'm done talking' about it." Snorting, he turned his back on Rick. And his inner demons began to twitch.

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After pushing hard for a few hours, Rick signaled that it was time for a break, time to get out and stretch. As Daryl walked back towards the rest of the cars, Hershel waved him over. With a half smile he began, "Son, you know I think the world of you."

Daryl leaned on the side of the little car with a studied casualness, and fiddled with his crossbow. His expression giving nothing away. "Yeah?"

Hershel moved into Daryl's personal space and began staring directly into his eyes. "I'm not going to beat around the bush, son. I have to know… What are your intentions regarding my daughter?"

With a low cautious voice, "What?" This was not the way he had expected this conversation to go. Daryl respected Hershel, but maybe being on the road was affecting his mind.

"My Beth. What are your intentions regarding my Beth?" Hershel's eyes seemed to be staring through him, into his very soul. It was more than disconcerting, it actually felt aggressive. Almost animalistic. It was as if Hershel's inner beast had awoken.

The aggressive quality of Hershel's action caused Daryl's body to defensively stiffen and his eyes narrowed at what Hershel seemed to be asking him. Snorting, "You get locked in a hot car to long old man? My intentions are to be her friend. You asked me to look out for her. I am." What the hell? Did these people all go crazy?

Without breaking eye contact, "Son, I appreciate that. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate all you've done for her. For all of us. But, I saw her with you last night. And, I just needed to know."

A reluctant smile pulled at the edge of Daryl's mouth. For an old man, when it came to his daughter Hershel was fearless. Anyone else in the group would have already backed away from him. Not wanting to risk releasing his wrath. Pulling himself up to his full height, in a level voice, "Last night she came over to me. She was scared. That's all." With that, Daryl stalked off, shaking his head, as Hershel stared after him.

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Daryl was lost in thought as he patrolled along the side of the road, intentionally keeping a good distance from Herschel, Rick and the rest of the group. All this craziness over nothing. It was more than a little baffling to him.

"Daryl!" Maggie's voice broke the silence with a harsh hiss as she walked up beside him. "What the hell do think you're doing with my sister?"

Daryl stared at her. Normally Maggie radiated a sheer, smokin' sexuality, even when she was taking out walkers. But now, all Daryl got from her was anger. No, not anger. It was more, it was like raw fury. And he matched her fury with a controlled rage. "Are you kidding me? How many times I do I have to hear about that?"

Planting herself in front of him and crossing her arms across her chest, Maggie continued her attack. "A lot I guess. She's still a kid. You keep your hands off her!"

Sliding his crossbow onto his back, Daryl defiantly moved into her space, stared her down, and spat "I ain't had my hands on her!"

"Keep it that way." Maggie turned and started to storm off, but after a couple steps she slowed and turned around. With an obvious effort, she swallowed her rage and forced what she thought could pass as a smile. Reaching her hand out towards his shoulder, in a smooth, conciliatory voice she offered, "Look. You know, she really likes you. She thinks you're friends."

"That's because we are friends!" Coolly stepping out of her reach, an icy frustration in his voice as he stared at her.

Dropping her hand, keeping her voice steady, "Okay. I'm sorry I yelled. And, I'm glad she has you for a friend. Just… Just don't hurt her." Shrugging, "Or, I don't know what I'll do to you."

Shaking his head, Daryl simply turned and walked away. That wasn't even worth commenting on. Why would Maggie think he would hurt Beth? Why would any of them think he would do something to Beth? This day was just going to hell. And they hadn't even seen any walkers.

"Hey Daryl…." Glenn's approach and voice splintered his thoughts.

"Shut it Glenn!" He snapped. Abruptly he turned and purposefully headed towards the SUV with Maggie and the younger man trailing behind him. Rick, Hershel, T-Dog, and Carol were gathered in front of the vehicle hunched over a map.

Scowling, he muscled his way into the center of the group and rested his hands on the hood of the car. His demons twitching as he gathered his composure. His eyes dark with anger, he looked at those gathered around the front of the car. "I didn't do anything to Beth. I ain't gonna' do anything to Beth. We're friends. She was scared. That's all." Then between clenched teeth he added, "And none of you better say anything about this to her. You hear?" The circle of adults gathered there was silent, as an implied threat radiated out from him. Carol and T-Dog exchanged glances, as did Glenn and Maggie.

Finally, Rick started "Daryl, we're…" With a look, Daryl silenced him. Turning he stomped off, his face contorted in anger, leaving a stunned group in his wake. Silently they exchanged looks of concern, confusion and surprise as they watched his retreating figure. These days he rarely directed his anger towards the group.

Lori was leaning against the front car, one hand under her growing belly, the other on the hood of the car. As he walked by she called out to him, "Daryl?"

Without even slowing down and gravel in his voice, he yelled back over his shoulder, "Talk to Rick!"

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For Beth the day passed uneventfully. At every stop, her eyes immediately began searching for Daryl. She was looking for an opportunity to speak to him alone. Several times her eyes caught his, but each time he looked away. She knew he was avoiding her. Finally, when they stopped for the evening, Beth caught him. Walking up behind Daryl she placed a hand on his shoulder. As he turned, he saw her looking up at him. Softly she asked, "Are you mad at me?"

His face softened as he looked at her, and he shook his head. "No." Then, with a low, especially rough voice, "Go inside. It's dangerous out here." As Daryl spun and walked away, she stared after him, her stomach twisting.

While Daryl spent the night wondering if the rest saw something he refused to see.


	7. Lullaby

Chapter 7 - Lullaby

The shift was so slow, so subtle, she didn't notice it at first. His role in the group had shifted from one of outsider to right hand man. His ability to track, to hunt, to help keep the group safe were all benefits. But it was his loyalty to Rick and his fierce protectiveness of the group that ultimately brought about the shift. Rick depended on him. Even looked to him for direction and support. Clearly he had moved up the power ladder, going from powerless to powerful. But he was so used to being powerless, Beth wasn't sure he realized it. Or if he consciously rejected his new power status.

Where once Daryl's outsider status was perhaps unwanted, now it was chosen. With all the vehicles available to ride in, which would conserve gas and be less noisy in their walker world, he chose to ride a loud, solo motorcycle. When they gathered for a meal, he always sat just outside the circle. In the evening, he always seemed willing to take on an extra watch and the worst shifts. When he rolled out a blanket, he seemed to intentionally be as far from the others as possible, while still being in the same room. At every junction, he seemed to put actual physical space between himself and the rest of the group.

But now, in light of all the recent conversations, he was feeling emotionally distant from the group. His feelings of separation showed on his face. They caused him to avoid interacting with the entire group. Including Beth. During the first break of the day following the thunderstorm, Beth saw him talking to her father. Afterwards, even from a distance, she could see that the way he carried himself had changed. Physically, he had drawn his shoulders in, as if to protect himself.

It was a subtle shift that no one else noticed. His face had become closed and he was avoiding her. She had become used to their connection, exchanging a glance and nod at every break. A sort of silent check in, affirmation that everything was okay. But after speaking with her father, he studiously avoided looking at her. She kept trying to catch his eye, but quickly realized that he was intentionally dodging her. Especially after he talked to Maggie and the group. That's when she realized he was angry and wasn't talking to anyone. Something was definitely going on.

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For two days she mentally wrestled with half a memory of a song. Whispered in her ear as the thunderstorm raged outside. That first day, she had wanted to ask Daryl about it, but she could tell he hadn't had a very good day. In fact, instead of asking him about the song, she had asked him if he was mad at her. He said no, but he remained distant the rest of that evening and the next day. And she was afraid they were losing him.

Even as he seemed to drift away, the song stayed with her. Haunted her. Even though she only remembered hearing a little of it before she had drifted off to sleep, somehow it had seeped into her memory. It felt both familiar and comforting, as it followed her. In the car with Rick and Carl, she found herself humming it as she tried to put the words together.

It was the third day before his temper seemed to have leveled off. It was the third day before his eyes searched for hers at the break. It was the evening of the third day before he was ready to talk to her again. About anything. And it was evening of the third day before she wasn't afraid to talk to him.

It was just after dark. The group had stopped for the night. It was late enough they both should have been inside. Instead, Beth had gravitated towards the front steps. Sitting on the top step, leaning back against the railing. Enjoying the fresh air. A few minutes later, Daryl approached from the side of the house, having just finished a watchful walk around the outside. Taking one last look around the front, he settled on the top step next to her and lit a cigarette.

Looking straight ahead, Beth started "Hey. It's nice to have you back. I missed you."

With a hint of a reluctant smile, "Yeah."

"Do you want to talk about what happened?"

"No" His voice was flat. Different. As if a door had closed, and she instinctively knew not to pursue it. This was not something he would share.

Sitting beside him, her hands folded in her lap, looking up at his stubbly face, she nodded. "Okay. Um," Hesitating slightly. Then with a quiet voice, "Did you sing to me the other night."

"Um hmm." Smoke drifted past his head, as he quietly nodded, staring straight ahead.

Continuing to look up at him, "I've never heard you sing like that before. Actually, I've never heard you sing anything before."

Daryl blinked, and silently looked down at her. Unwilling to risk appearing weak, especially to someone who depended on him. And singing a children's lullaby, that could definitely be interpreted as weak.

"I've been thinking about that song ever since. I think I finally figured out all the words." Softly she sang:

"Lullaby and good night

Now the daytime is over

Time to slip up to your dreamland

I will keep you safe and warm

Lullaby and good night

There is nothing to fear

Lullaby and good night

When you wake I'll be near."

"Did I get it right?" Pausing a moment, and reaching out to put her hand on his upper arm, she said, "It's so pretty." Where did you learn that?"

"Um mmm." A non-answer. His eyes wouldn't, couldn't, meet hers. Looking past her at something that was endlessly fascinating somewhere across the road. Desperately chewing a piece of grass. That usually meant there was something there, something he was reluctant to talk about. But he didn't get up and walk away.

Beth had faithfully held the secrets he shared with her. Allowing him to become more trusting, more open. When he didn't leave or chase her away, she knew it was just a matter of time before he told her. So she persisted.

"You know you'll tell me eventually, right?" She teased lightly. Waiting a moment, until he turned his head to look her in the eye, then continuing. "You might as well give it up right now."

That laugh in her voice, her smile, her gold halo. Where her sister, Maggie, radiated sexuality, Beth was different. She gave off an effervescence of light that even in the dark shone through the layers of grime that covered her. In that moment, she was almost irresistible. Whatever she asked, whatever she wanted, he would have given it to her. "Mmm. My mom used to sing that."

Images of a pint sized Daryl floated into her consciousness. Just the thought of a little Daryl, already stubbly, running around with a pint sized crossbow, chasing squirrels made her smile. Little tough guy Daryl listening to his mama sing,. Suddenly, unexpectedly, she felt her eyes grow moist. "That's so sweet. Was she tucking you into bed when she sang?"

With downcast eyes, picking at the edge of his crossbow, slightly nodding, mumbling, "Um, on bad days. When I was really little. She would lay on the bed next to me and sing until I fell asleep."

Beth moved a little closer to him, she wanted to know everything. "Did she curl up next to you? Did she hold you close and brush the hair off your face?" She wondered about his mom. He had comforted her during the thunderstorm, had he learned that from her? What was she like? He had never talked about his family. Except for once. When he mentioned his brother, Merle.

Nodding, he picked at the edge of his crossbow. "Um hmm."

Whispering, "What were bad days? Like thunderstorms and stuff?"

"Nah, I gotta'… You gotta' go in." Abruptly, Daryl stood up and started to walk away from her. Clearly she had hit a tender spot. Bad days. That would have to wait for another time. But it would not be forgotten.

"Daryl wait." Turning, he looked down at her, "You disappeared from me for a couple of days. You were here, but you were gone. Please, don't disappear like that again."

With the slightest of nods and a quiet voice, "Alright."


	8. Purple Room

Chapter 8 - A Purple Room

Why is every single house trashed? And all trashed in the same way. Another housing development. Rick and the first team had already gone in to clear the house. Then, on T-Dog's signal, they had carried in their packs and blankets. It didn't seem like there had been any walkers lurking in this one, thank goodness. That was a nice change.

The house itself looked sad. The front room had been nice at one time. But, like all the rest, now it looked like someone had ransacked it. As if they were looking for something specific. There were all kinds of papers scattered on the floor, like files had been pulled from drawers and simply dumped. Maybe the people thought they needed to take their passports or bank statements with them, and just dumped the rest. At least there weren't any walker bodies stacked by the wall or laying around. Just papers and dust.

The group gathered in the front room, sitting on the floor or chairs, whatever was available. Being on the road for so long, it was always nice to be able to sit and catch your breath. After a few minutes of just being, some people began to spread out, looking for food or anything else in the house that was useful. While the first team went to the house next door to clear it. If they were lucky, they would find enough supplies to last a week or more. And if they were really lucky, they wouldn't be run off by walkers for a few days.

Beth listened to Carol and Lori rattling around in the kitchen and pantry. She tried to remember what it was like to not feel sort of empty all the time. It was hard to believe that just a few months earlier, they had been on the farm. With plenty to eat. A soft bed to sleep in. The freedom to roam around outside without worrying about carrying a weapon or what might be around the next corner.

The clanking of cans and such in the kitchen, wrapped in soft voices, called her back to the present. She idly listened as the women discussed what they found. Reluctant to enter into their activity in the kitchen, and bored with waiting in the living room, she decided to check out the bedrooms upstairs. During their time on the road, she had discovered that all sorts of interesting things could be found tucked into tiny drawers and the back of bedroom closets.

Leaving the pack she had carried in, Beth headed up the stairs to check out the bedrooms. The master bedroom was first. It had certainly been abandoned in a hurry. The closet door was open and there were clothes strewn everywhere. The dresser drawers were all pulled completely out. Even the jewelry box had been opened and emptied. Where did these people think they were going that they would need their jewelry? At first glance it seemed completely cleaned out. But, in their time on the road, Beth had discovered that there were usually a few places that were overlooked by people in a hurry. There were matching nightstands or either side of the bed. A quick look revealed that they had a narrow drawer. In the drawer on one side she found a mostly full pack of condoms. Maggie and Glenn would appreciate those. Behind a photo on the other nightstand there was an unopened pack of cigarettes. These finds may not be on the same level as food, but the comforts made the journey easier.

Leaving the master bedroom, Beth walked down the hall to the next room.. It must have belonged to a boy. There wasn't too much in it that was useful. But she did find a couple of comic books. And there were some tee-shirts, maybe some Carl would like. Since being on the road, they had quit doing laundry so much. Now, they were more likely to just throw away their clothes as soon as they found something better. Better meaning clean. The next door was the bathroom, where she was able to find a few new disposable razors stuffed way in the back of the cabinet.

Finally she was at the last door. She could hear voices coming from the front room downstairs. Shaking the sound from her head, she stared at the door. It was closed, and she pressed her ear to it. Listening. Trying to make sure that it had been cleared, that there wasn't anything waiting to surprise her on the other side. When she didn't hear anything, she slowly turned the handle and eased the door open. It was a bedroom. To her relief, the room was empty. Empty of people, walkers, and bodies.

Stepping inside, she immediately realized that it had been a girl's room. The walls were washed in purple, even the curtains and the bedspread were predominately purple. Posters of kittens with inspirational sayings were taped to the wall next to a poster of Justin Bieber and there was a quilted wall hanging above the head of the bed. A snow globe with Mickey Mouse inside and what looked like a music box sat on the top of the dresser. And a messy collection of necklaces and earrings cluttered the nightstand.

Being in that room brought back a flood of memories. Memories she had mostly been successful in suppressing, until now. Beth sank into a small upholstered chair in the corner, tucking her feet under her.

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As the first team returned from clearing the second house, the group gathered in the living room. As people began to settle in, Hershel noticed that his youngest daughter was not part of the group. Questioningly he looked towards Maggie. His glance alerted her that something was amiss. After scanning the room, she stood and walked through the living room, dining room, kitchen, and peeked in the pantry and mudroom. Returning to the living room, Maggie returned her father's look and shook her head no. Their activity alerted the rest of the group that something was amiss, and as one they realized that Beth was not with them.

As people began to stand, Lori spoke up, concern evident in her voice. "I think she went upstairs. About an hour ago. And I don't remember her coming back down." Even before she finished speaking, Daryl had started up the staircase, with Rick and Maggie right behind him.

Taking the steps two at a time, Daryl mentally prepared for the worst. Reaching the second floor he looked at the four doors. With his crossbow at the ready, he pushed in the first door. The master bedroom. It was empty. At the same time, Maggie went to the second room, the smaller bedroom. The door was standing open. Empty. Rick tapped on the bathroom door, it swung open, also empty. Finally, the last door. It was closed all the way.

Daryl reached the last door first. Sucking in his breath, raising his bow, he cautiously turned the doorknob. When the latch clicked, he slowly pushed the door open. The room was nearly dark, the only light coming from behind the curtains. Stepping inside the room, Rick and Maggie both on his heels, he scanned the room. They almost missed seeing her, silently curled up in the chair. Her head hanging down. Maggie reached her in three steps, knelt down, and using a flashlight checked her eyes.

The bright light and Maggie's fingers on the side of her face jerked Beth awake. "What? What!" Looking first at Maggie, then at Daryl and Rick who were standing behind her, she was suddenly embarrassed.

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As she wiped at her eyes, Beth quietly began, "I guess I fell asleep."

In big sister, lecture mode, Maggie began wagging her finger in Beth's face. "Don't wander off alone like that. You scared us. Now, come downstairs!"

"I'm sorry. You go on, I'll be down in a minute." Beth started to wave them all off, then quickly pulled out the package of condoms, and called out "Maggie wait."

Maggie rolled her eyes as a bright blush covered her face, and she took the package from Beth's outstretched hand. "Great. Thanks."

Daryl nodded off Rick and Maggie. "I'll wait." Rick raised an eyebrow at the younger man, then turned and followed Maggie out. Daryl surveyed the bedroom before turning to lean against the bedroom wall, as he looked down at her. "You okay?"

Shrugging, "Just embarrassed. I take a nap and everyone comes running." With a deep sigh, she looked around the room and unfolded her legs. "On the farm, I had the same room my whole life. It was even painted purple, just like this one."

As she spoke, Daryl alternately searched her face and then looked around the room. As if he were trying to understand her attachment to a room. Beth continued, "I remember complaining about having to clean it. Now, I would give anything to have a room of my own. Not even a whole room, just a door would be enough."

Tipping her head to look up at Daryl, she continued "You know, a way to close out everybody and everything else just for a little while. Just to have a space for private thoughts. And stuff. Without everybody getting all excited." Looking around the room she absently pulled the band from her hair, releasing her ponytail.

Daryl looked down at her for another minute, then nodded towards the door. "Come on." Standing to follow him down the stairs to join the group, she wondered what it was that Daryl missed.


	9. Nightmares Come in the Daytime

**A/N Wow! 50 Followers. Thank you for reading, following, favoring. And all your terrific messages.**

Chapter 9 - When Nightmares Come in the Daytime

Six months on the road. Six months without losing a single person. Six months without a serious injury. Six months of the ten of them living, breathing, sleeping, eating, and running together. After six months of such intense togetherness, they were now closer than close. That's when the unexpected. Unpredicted. Even unimaginable happened.

It was during a stop. Suddenly. Unexpectedly. They were everywhere. The area looked clear. Rick signaled it was time for a break. Everyone slowed. Then stopped. Then climbed out of their cars and began to stretch. Using nods, raised eyebrows and glances everyone knew what their job was. The first team spread out, making a quick check for walkers or other threats. At Rick's signal, Carl moved to the front of the line of cars, his gun at the ready, as he took point. With her fireplace poker in hand, Beth moved to the end of the caravan. Both Carl and Beth kept a silent watch, doing their part to keep the group safe. Without speaking, three people hunched over the hood of the SUV and began to study the map. A couple people headed off to hunt, hoping to catch some fresh fish or meat for dinner. While a couple others took the water bottles down to a nearby stream to refill. Even Lori was out of the SUV. Leaning against the side of the car. Holding her belly, enjoying the fresh air.

Things had gotten increasingly difficult for the group. It seemed at every turn they were encountering larger and larger groups or herds of walkers. In the past few weeks, they hadn't been able to stay more than one night in any location. A few times they had even had to run in the middle of the night. Every time they had to run bonded them closer as a group. But the increasing frequency meant they were now hyper-vigilant. All the time. And that type of ramped up adrenaline fed vigilance can't be permanently maintained. Sooner or later it breaks.

Standing behind the last car, Beth kept scanning the foliage on each side of the road. Her fireplace poker clenched in her hands. Carl was watching from in front, gun raised, ready for whatever should come out of the woods. They both strained, listening for unusual noise, continually striving to discern if they were the hearing the normal sounds of their group activity. Or something more threatening. In the distance they could both hear Carol and T-Dog splashing in the stream. Those hunting and examining the map were virtually silent. A heavy calm hung over them.

When you are continually, forcefully reminded at every instant that tomorrow is not a guarantee, then every moment becomes more important. Maggie and Glenn were determined, that no matter what happened tomorrow, they weren't leaving anything on the table. Every moment they had together would count. With Carl and Beth on watch, they left Hershel to examine the map, as they found a private spot in the grass next to their car. Sitting together, Glenn had the thought that Maggie had never been as beautiful as when she was wiping dirt from her cheek. Her eyes stared into his. Pushing her hair back, he framed her face with his hands, and allowed himself to drown in her eyes. Pulling her into him, his lips meeting hers, he was grateful for This Moment.

Into the silence they called. T-Dog and Carol. Calling out to Beth and Carl, and anyone who would listen, with a loud stage whisper "Come help carry!" They had filled all their water bottles, so Beth, Carl, and reluctantly, Maggie and Glenn, headed down the incline to help with the heavy bottles. Lugging the full five gallon bottles back to the cars, they crashed through the underbrush. The road had been empty. The woods had been quiet. Their guard was down. No one was on point. No one was paying attention. That's when he saw them. Suddenly. Unexpectedly. They were everywhere

Coming into the woods, shuffling along, headed right towards them. Carl dropped the bottle he was carrying and began calmly pointing and pulling out his gun. Without seeing them, the rest knew instantly what was coming. And they knew there were too many to take out. So, as one, they all dropped their bottles and began to scatter. Seeking cover, holding their breath. Their eyes seeking each other, making wordless connections.

T-Dog quickly, silently, took out two walkers and threw them over himself and Carol. Glenn and Maggie initially sought cover behind a couple trees, but as the herd shuffled closer, they each took a couple walkers down and then rolled underneath them. Growing up on the farm, Beth had learned a few tricks, and soundlessly scrambled up into a tree. Out of sight and reach. Carl knelt behind and beneath a large bush. Its spreading branches sheltering him from view. Holding his breath, gun clenched to his chest, ready to use it if he had to. From where he knelt, he could see Beth above him and Glenn's eyes on him. The herd swarmed past, under the tree Beth was perched in. On just one side of the bush that sheltered Carl. Shuffling past the undead that camouflaged the rest. The group's eyes and ears strained to maintain contact and to determine when the herd had passed and it was safe to come out.

After what seemed like hours, but was probably closer to ten or twenty minutes, Beth nodded to Carl that it was safe. She climbed out of the tree as the rest began pushing out from under the undead bodies they were hiding under. Pushing a stray bit of hair off her face and out of her eyes, she looked around. The group huddled close together, wordlessly asking, "Is everybody okay?" Glenn took a last look, then with an upward nod whispered "Go, go, go!" Running to the road, the dropped water bottles forgotten.

Rick and Daryl were waiting by the side of the road, covering them as they ran up. Rick did a quick visual check to make sure everyone was safe. "Let's go!" he ordered in a low voice. Piling into the cars, without looking back, still breathing hard, they took off. Daryl leading the way on his motorcycle.

The adrenaline rush of dealing with the large group of walkers left them exhausted, and after just a few miles Glenn signaled that he needed to stop. Pulling over to the side, car doors slowly began to open and the group oozed out. Soundlessly reaching for one another, sharing hugs and silent reassurance. Once again, as a group, they had survived a threat. Huddled between the cars, it was Maggie who spoke first. Looking around, catching her breath in her throat, eyes growing wide, "Where? Where's daddy?" Her unexpected question was chilling. Horrified looks circled the group as everyone rushed to examine every car. In just a few moments it was clear. Hershel wasn't with them.

Beth and Maggie simultaneously turned to Daryl, who had already climbed back on his bike. "I'll get him." And he was off.

As Daryl pulled away, Rick looked after him. Right hand on his gun, shaking his head. "How did this happen? How did we leave someone?" He hissed. Louder, angrier he asked to no one in particular, "How the **hell** did this happen!" Pacing, he looked from T-Dog to Carol, to the rest of the group. As if he thought someone might volunteer an answer or explanation.

Glenn wrapped up both Maggie and Beth in his arms, whispering "Don't worry. Daryl will find him. Your dad's smart and he's tough. Don't worry. Daryl's going to bring him back." As Beth and Maggie clung to each other, Glenn looked over their heads, his eyes searching for Rick. For reassurance. Reassurance that wasn't coming. The rest of the little group quietly drifted together, as Rick continued to pace.

Time crawled. Beth and Maggie huddled quietly together, Beth's mind a blur. They had only driven for fifteen minutes. And now, it had been almost an hour. How come it was taking so long for Daryl to get back? What if he was too late? What if something had happened to daddy? What if… Finally, they heard the roar of the motorcycle and they all jumped up and began staring, waiting for it to come into sight. Then, there it was. With both of them. And all six bottles of water strapped awkwardly to the bike. Beth looked first to her father, then her eyes searched for Daryl's. Silently mouthing 'thank you' with a smile.

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Beth loitered outside the front of the house where they had holed up for the night. Waiting for him. Finally, Daryl appeared from around the corner. As he came into view she quickly sat down on the top step. "Hi. Everything all buttoned up for tonight?"

With a barely disguised smile, "Yeah." He was pleased that she had waited for him. But he would never tell her that.

"Sit with me, please?" She patted the space next to her, but this was a request she didn't have to make. The sound of her voice was a soothing way to end the day and the sight of that gold halo was calming. Resting his crossbow next to him, he settled on the step with her. "I was so scared today. I don't know what I would do if…"

With a nod and a sideways look, "He's a tough old bird."

Looking up at him, she continued "I thought I had gotten used to having nightmares in the daytime, what with the dead coming back to eat the living. But, when daddy…." Her voice broke off, strangled in her throat. Catching her breath, she began again. "I started thinking today about how you saved me from Shane back on the farm, remember? I don't think I ever thanked you for that. So, for me and for daddy, thank you."

Daryl silently nodded. Unsure of how to respond. 'You're welcome' seemed so weak, so insignificant. Then unexpectedly, Beth launched herself at him. Hugging him around the neck and lightly kissing his scratchy cheek. She was so close, pressing herself up against him. His breathing suddenly became shallow and ragged. He flushed as he realized that without consulting him, his body was responding to hers. Jesus effing Christ! This was High School shit. He desperately clamped his thighs together to no avail. And for the first time, he struggled to remember that they were just friends. That she was just eighteen. That she was just caught up in the moment. That this didn't really mean anything. And then the mortification, when he realized that she had noticed.

Heat always rolled off of Daryl. But suddenly, mid-hug, Beth could feel a spike in his temperature. And a shifting of his body. Then, an embarrassed realization of what was happening. As if she had been burned, Beth abruptly pulled her arms, herself away from him.

As one, they both began stammering. "You should…"

"Yeah, um, I will..."

"Okay."

"Okay, good then." Beth scrambled to her feet and raced inside. While Daryl continued to sit on the step, staring at he didn't know what, wondering what the hell just happened.

And that night, in tortured dreams, he was hunted by his demons.


	10. We Cry in our Sleep

Chapter 10 - And We Cry in our Sleep

It was close to time for Lori's baby to come. Rick was pushing everyone hard, desperate to find a place they could stay a while. For as long as was needed for the baby, and for Lori. Truth be told, they were all getting a bit ragged. The constant running had pulled them together as a group emotionally. But physically it was devastating, tearing all of them to shreds. They were exhausted and it showed.

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Ever since that incredibly awkward night when Beth had thanked Daryl for saving her and her daddy, things between them had changed. In the two days since, Beth hadn't talked to him once. At first, it was her. The next day, she caught him looking at her, with his 'come here and talk to me' little nod. But, embarrassed by what she thought happened, what she thought she had caused, Beth just looked away. And the rest of that day and night, she became **very** busy. Too busy to let his eye catch hers.

With a small group, there are a limited number of people to turn to for advice. After an uncomfortably long day of avoiding Daryl, Beth reluctantly found herself talking to "Maggie, I need some advice." After the humiliation of explaining what happened, Beth sat quietly waiting

Maggie looked out the window at Glenn unloading the car, and instinctively licked her lips. As she listened to Beth's story she thought of the conversation she had had with Daryl just a few weeks earlier. How she had warned him to stay away from Beth. Since then however, with the increasing number of walkers they had seen, she was reconsidering.

Still staring out the window she began, "Beth, you know I love you. So, please, hear this in the spirit of love that I'm offering it." Turning, she looked her younger sister in the eye, "First off, quit being embarrassed and get on with it. You're not 12 anymore…."

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The next day was different. Beth was determined to talk to Daryl and tried to catch his eye every time they stopped. But now, he studiously avoided looking in her direction. When they settled for the night, she spent so much time sitting on the front steps waiting for him, that she started wishing for her blanket. But again, he avoided her. In fact, the only time Beth saw him at all was when everyone was gathered in the front room. Then, sitting across from each other, the tension was palpable. Until finally, Daryl stood and went back out to patrol.

People had been giving Beth 'looks,' for a day and a half, but so far she had been able to dodge their mostly unasked questions. For that she was grateful, because truthfully, she didn't have any answers. There was only one way that would change. Somehow they needed to figure out a way to talk. To each other. And Beth was done waiting around for that to 'just happen' organically. She made the decision that it was time for her to grow up. To be bold. To make the first move. She was done waiting.

So just after Daryl walked out, with Maggie's advice in mind, she went out to do some 'hunting' of her own. Ambushing Daryl on patrol. "There you are, I've been looking for you everywhere."

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Startled by her voice coming out of the darkness, Daryl's first reaction had been to start raising his crossbow. As if threatened. Then, her gold halo came into view, he lowered his bow, and waited. For the first time in two days, his eyes met hers. His stomach twisting even as his face was impassive.

Stepping out of the shadows, looking up at him, "I miss you." Emboldened by the sound of her own voice, Beth moved in closer.

Still he waited.

"If I did something, I'm sorry." Pausing. "I know things got a little awkward the other night but… But we shouldn't let something so insignificant… I mean, it's such a little thing… I mean…" A scarlet flush spread across Beth's face as she spoke. "I should just stop talking now, shouldn't I. Yeah."

Daryl raised an eyebrow as he enjoyed watching her face color. A slight smile played at the corner of his mouth, but he wasn't going to rescue her from herself.

Crossing her arms across her chest, "Listen, I talked to Maggie yesterday."

Shit. Things were getting better all the time. His expression unreadable, "You could have just talked to me."

With a slightly defensive tone, "Well, I didn't know what to say. So…" With a hard swallow, acquiescing, "Can we be friends again?"

"I never stopped being your friend." He had let her down. As her friend, he could protect her from walkers, and unfriendlies, and the group's looks, questions and insinuations. He'd just have to find a way to protect her from himself.

Relieved, Beth settled onto a swing on the porch. Smiling, she patted the seat beside her, for Daryl to sit with her. "I really did miss talking to you. And, I'm glad I can get rid of these." Reaching into her pocket, she pulled out an open pack of cigarettes. "I've been smelling them all day."

Sitting next to her, his crossbow at his side, Daryl pulled out one cigarette. Lighting it, he inhaled deeply. Thoroughly enjoying his first cigarette of the day. With a satisfied sigh he effortlessly blew smoke rings and watched them float into nothingness. Then, reaching into his back pocket, he fished out a little journal and a pencil. Almost shyly he passed them to Beth. "Here. I know it's not a door, but maybe you can write private things in it." On another day, Beth would have been tempted to hug him. But on that night she settled for a squeal of delight as she looked through the book and admired the cover. The impasse between them broken, they fell into their familiar routine of sharing the day.

Another half hour passed before curiosity finally got the best of Daryl. With his face lowered, shielding his eyes from her, "So, what'd Maggie say?"

What'd Maggie say? Suck it up and get over it. You're not a kid anymore. He's a man, what'd you expect? You know he cares about you. And there aren't that many men around. You should jump his bones now while you have the chance. Carol is practically drooling over him, so you better not waste any time. What'd Maggie say? "She said I was lucky to have you as friend."

Daryl nodded silently, grateful that was all she said.

Despite being on the road and the ever present danger from the undead and potentially any people they encountered, life had a certain rhythm. Having resolved the awkward tension between them, Beth and Daryl easily slipped back into a comfortable friendship. But now Beth found herself wondering what his mouth tasted like. While nightly, Daryl found himself even more fiercely hunted by his demons.

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Spending so much time together in close quarters, the group had become used to each other's quirks. Sleeping in the same room, their varied snores and sighs had become a source of comfort. Even Daryl's mumbling in his sleep had become routine. As controlled and emotionally impassive as he was during the day, his cares and concerns seeped out at night, unwilling and unable to be contained. Playing out in groans and muffled whispers. Which no one ever mentioned, to him or each other. The night after Daryl gave Beth the journal, he had a particularly bad night.

It was the darkest, deepest part of the night when Daryl began groaning in his sleep. Groans accompanied by unintelligible muttering and violent shudders, his face sticky, contorted in obvious distress. His volume grew, until people began to wake up. Sitting, Beth looked across the room at his tortured movements, before turning to her sister. Maggie's eyes were already on her. With a nod, she motioned for Beth to go to where he was twitching in his sleep.

Quietly, Beth rose and taking her blanket walked over to where he was ineffectively trying to escape his demons. Without hesitation, she settled on the floor behind him, wrapping herself around him. Even as he continued to struggle against his dreams, she tenderly brushed his hair away from his face. Pressing her lips close to his ear, she softly began to sing,

"Lullaby and good night  
Now the daytime is over  
Time to slip up to your dreamland  
I will keep you safe and warm"

By the time she got to the fourth line, his breathing had evened out and the worst of the shudders had subsided.

"Lullaby and good night  
There is nothing to fear  
Lullaby and good night  
When you wake I'll be near."

As she continued to sing, the tension in his arms and shoulders dissolved. Finally, a soft breath escaped his lips, his face relaxed and his years seemed to melt away. As Beth continued to sing and stroke his forehead, he rolled onto his back and settled into a peaceful, dreamless sleep.

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Dawn came too soon. Daryl's eyes opened. Stretching he looked around and discovered Beth asleep next to him. Swiftly standing, looking around, he saw everyone else was still sleeping. With a swallowed sigh of relief, he quietly stepped outside.


	11. When You Wake

Chapter 11 - When You Wake

It was a hard day. After running from walkers in the middle of the afternoon, Rick and Daryl had found them a new home. Ironically, it was a prison. Where once men dreamed of ways to break out, they had broken in.

Under Rick's direction they had managed to clear the whole yard. It was a huge, mostly grassy area. With a double row of fences to keep the walkers out. Rick walked the perimeter 2, 3, maybe 4 times to make sure there were no breaches. No place for walkers to wander in. While Daryl patrolled from atop the side of a tipped over bus, peering into the darkness for any threats that may decide to wander in the front gate.

With Rick and Daryl on watch, and the fences in place, they felt safe. For the first time since leaving the farm, they felt safe. Safe enough to light an actual fire. That night they had hot food and room to spread out. The new definition of luxury.

Funny thing. Even with a huge yard to spread out in, as the darkness stretched across the grass they pulled in together. As if they were attached to one another. Crowding around the fire, shoulder to shoulder, to share their evening meal. All except for Rick and Daryl. Then Hershel asked his youngest daughter to sing for him. A way of celebrating their new home. And as her voice began to soar, they all drew even closer together. They were so used to living, sleeping , and being together in one room, that even with room to spread out, they craved that close connection.

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When your world gets smaller, say just nine other people smaller, you learn to live together.

Carol had pulled herself away from the group. Beth watched as she climbed up on the overturned bus where Daryl was. She watched as Carol handed him a bowl and leaned in to talk to him. She watched as Carol smiled and laughed and stared at Daryl. And she swallowed a scowl as Daryl massaged her shoulder, before they both climbed down off the bus. Maggie was right, Carol was practically drooling.

As Beth sang, she noticed the two of them sitting together outside the group. Talking. As she glanced over at them, her stomach twisted and her voice faltered. Immediately Maggie began singing with her. Propping her voice up.

Finally, they got to the end of the song. Beth tried to nonchalantly look over towards where Daryl and Carol had been. Daryl was sitting alone in the grass. He caught her eye and with a little upward nod waved her over. As Beth stood up, Maggie looked up at her with a hint of a smile. As if she knew a secret. And truthfully, maybe she did.

Wandering over, she hummed _'__Good night and joy be with you all, Good night and joy be with you all.'_ (The refrain from the song she sang) "Hey you." Beth said as she dropped to the ground next to Daryl.

"Hey." As always, his face gave away nothing, but his eyes had that intensity. Beth had forgotten how blue they were. Or perhaps she hadn't noticed before. Silently they sat comfortably together in the damp grass for several minutes. Simply being.

"What a great day. Finally we have a safe place for Lori to have her baby." A relaxed, satisfied look on her face as she looked up at Daryl.

"Um hum."

I don't know about all this space, though. From here, everyone seems so far away. It feels sort of weird." Reclining on her elbows, the group seemed physically smaller and even further away. After spending so much time in each other's space, now they were almost scary far away.

Turning to look at her, Daryl nodded. "Yeah. Don't get used to it."

It was perfect. With a slight smile, Beth said "Well, I'm going to sleep over here by you tonight."

"No. You need to sleep over by your dad." His voice flat. His face hard. This was not something he planned on discussing. It was best if they kept some distance. He welcomed her friendship. He liked talking to her. He was flattered that she looked up to him and that there were a few things **he** could teach **her**. And he was still committed to keeping her safe. But, there was no way he was going to let her sleep over by him, away from the group. No way he was intentionally going to encourage their speculation.

"No. **I am** going to sleep over here. You need me." Pausing, to look him in the eye, she saw that he had raised one eyebrow. As if daring her to contradict him. She pushed ahead, saying "You had a bad night last night. And, Rick said…"

Interrupting, "What's that mean? I had a bad night last night?"

Beth continued to look at him, swallowing her lower lip before she answered. "You just had a bad night, that's all. You were having a nightmare. Moaning, grinding your teeth, your arms were shaking."

As she spoke, his eyes narrowed, and the left corner of his lip twitched ever so slightly. He turned to stare out at the yard and the rest of the group, with an intentional casualness. A casualness she knew he was working hard to put on. "Is that all?"

"That's enough. I was worried about you." Still working it, he waited for her to continue. "It woke me up, and I wasn't the only one."

Still staring out at the yard, his face again impassive and his voice flat "Who?"

"What?" Her voice raising a little, her eyebrows creeping together for just a second.

"Who else woke up?" The tone in his voice now made the question a demand.

Beth sat up, wrapping her arms around her knees. "Well, my Dad and Maggie both woke up..."

"And so did I." Carol interjected. "We were all worried about you, Pookie."

Pookie? Seriously? Beth glanced over and saw Carol was sitting across from them. The woman moved like a shadow. "See! I wasn't the only one who was worried!" While not pleased that Carol had returned and was calling Daryl Pookie, Beth was glad to hear she wasn't the only one who was concerned. And relieved that Daryl had heard that others were worried, also. "So, tonight I'm going to sleep over here by you. Just in case."

"No. You need to go over with your dad." He didn't care how many nightmares he had. He wasn't going to let her get dragged down with gossipy crap.

"Beth is right." What, Carol was agreeing with her? Maybe Maggie was confused. "She should sleep over here, just in case. In fact, we both will."

"**No!** I don't need a damn babysitter! Get away from me! Both of you!" Beth flinched at the anger rising in his voice. The tone in his voice stung like a slap. Causing her to catch her breath. She wasn't on the receiving end of his outbursts very often, and she didn't like it.

Looking across at Carol, their eyes met. Beth raised her shoulders slightly, silently asking the older woman, 'what should we do?' Carol gave her a closed-lip, half smile, followed by an almost imperceptible nod back towards Daryl. Then standing, Carol dusted off her backside and offered, "Okay. Well I'm feeling a little cold. I think I'll go over by the fire." With a look towards Beth, and a light smile for Daryl, "Good night."

As Carol walked away, Daryl turned to Beth, his eyes narrow. "Hmm. You still here." It was a more of a statement than a question.

Once again leaning back on her elbows, feigning a calm she didn't feel, Beth drawled "Yeah, I'm staying. You need me."

Daryl stared at her, chewing on a piece of grass. Waiting. In the moonlight, he noticed her stray pieces of hair fluttering around her face. If he hadn't been so angry he would have been amused by the sight.

"Don't get mad. But, I know. You've been having nightmares almost every night." Her breathing still uneven since his outburst. Challenging her calm outward appearance.

Still chewing, his anger barely in check. If anyone else had made that comment they would have been having a more physical conversation. "What makes you think I've been having nightmares?"

Despite her resolve, she found herself inching away from him. "I don't think it, I know it. Everybody knows you have nightmares. I told you. Carol told you. You're waking people up."

Spitting, his eyes reduced to hard, narrow slits, Daryl kept staring at her. Silently. Taking in what she said. His demons twitching, his face softened slightly when he realized the distress he was causing with his anger.

Swallowing to catch her breath, and to keep her voice level, "Daryl, you can't keep everything bottled up so tight. Maybe you should tell me about what bad days were like when you were a kid. You know, if you don't let stuff out during the day, it's going to come out some other time. I think your bad days are trying to escape."

Daryl snorted, and finally looked away.

"I'm serious. You can pick the time and place to let go of stuff, or keep smushing it down and wait for it to find its own way out."

Slowly shaking his head from side to side, with a quiet voice, "Nothing to let out."

"Well, Rick said that tomorrow we push in. By hand. That's you." Pausing to take a deep breath, knowing this conversation was putting a big draw on their friendship. "You're going to have a hard day tomorrow. So you need to get some sleep tonight. And, you can't get the sleep you need if you're flailing around, lost in a nightmare." Raking her fingers through her hair, freeing it from its customary ponytail, her halo slipping away. "So if you're not going to talk, then I'm going to sleep over here."

Silently, Daryl stared at her. Waiting.

Swallowing hard, "When you have a nightmare…your mama's lullaby…helps." Willing herself to draw on his anger for strength, straightening her shoulders, and refusing to back down, "So, I'm staying. Suck it up."

Five silent minutes passed, ten minutes, as he pondered what she had said and the implications. Finally, quietly, the hard edge gone from his voice, "Suck it up?"

Hearing the almost imperceptible shift, Beth licked her lips, her tone lighter. "Yeah, suck it up. You like that?"

"No. It's coarse. It's not you." The comfortableness between them restored.

Goose bumps trailed down Beth's arms, as she shivered in the night air. "You're cold." Daryl shrugged off the old horse blanket he used as a poncho and wrapped it around her shoulders.

Beth looked over at him with a smile. "Thank you. But, now you'll be cold. We can share."

"No. I'm good." The immediate mental image of the two of them hunkered down under one blanket wasn't one he wanted talked about. Ever. Beth sleeping near him was bad enough.

With the moon high, and her circulation returning under the scratchy blanket, Beth lay down and was quickly asleep. Silently, Daryl pulled the blanket up around her shoulders before standing to take one last patrol.

That night, Merle haunted his dreams. Leering at him. Taunting him. Saying, "You're just like me little brother. Get to it, boy!" And chasing a girl with a gold halo.


	12. Home

Chapter 12 - Home

Finally, a new home. In a prison. With the double row of fences surrounding the yard, they were able to—at least theoretically—spread out. To have private space away from each other. But they weren't ready to spread out. They were a family, a tight family, and they still needed to be physically close.

It took every part of every one of the group to bring the prison around and transform it into a home. Hour after hour, they hauled bodies outside. For an entire day, the putrid smell of burning walker bodies seemed to fill the air. And when the evening came, they were all aching from the heavy work.

Inside the prison they had found a generous supply of necessary items for everyday life. Sheets, blankets, towels and wash cloths. Industrial size toiletries and cleaning supplies. Toilet paper and laundry soap. What had once been taken for granted, was now seen as a gift.

In a now empty cell block, Lori looked after Hershel, as Carol began sweeping. Meanwhile Beth scrounged up some rubber gloves and attacked the ceilings and walls. Using a heavy brush and a bucket of strong cleaning solution the grime slowly began to disappear. Standing on a chair, working on the ceiling, she felt drips of heavy scum land in her hair and heard it splatter on the floor around her. As she scrubbed, and rescrubbed, the walls, she could see little rivers of filth run down the cinderblock. A sight which was somehow gratifying. As each river revealed a fresh, clean spot on the wall behind it. It was hard, physically exhausting work. And Beth reveled in it. Cleaning the prison was her gift to the group, as it began the process of transforming the grubby place into a home.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

As the afternoon dragged into early evening, Beth pushed on until her arms no longer seemed to work. Dropping her brush and sponges into a bucket, she carried the dirty water out into the yard. After pouring the dirty buckets of water under the outside fence, Beth found herself looking out at the creek with longing. Even knowing that it was only a couple feet deep, and ice cold. Looking down at the dirt and old blood and mushed bugs that were caked on her arms, all she could think of was how good it would feel to be in that water. To see the filth that had covered the inside of the prison, filth which now covered her, float away. And her own glowing skin return.

Half turning to lean her aching body against the fence, Beth began to daydream about the farm. With her eyes mostly closed and a thin, closed mouth smile, she thought about her bathroom. About sitting in the big porcelain tub. About the hot water which had seemed endless. Hot water which she had taken for granted, simply assuming it would always be there, right up until the night they had to leave. She thought about soft fluffy towels, fresh and warm from the dryer. But mostly, she thought about how much she missed being clean. Really clean.

Leaning there against the outer fence, with her eyes mostly closed, her head tipped back, she suddenly became aware that there was someone up in the watch tower, watching her. Looking up from under her lashes, so as not to get caught looking, she realized it was Daryl. As her smile deepened, she started to raise her hand in a wave. But, instead, with her mind working at a furious pace, she dropped her hand back to her side.

Turning, she clutched the fence and began scanning the outside area for any sign of the undead. The air was still. There was nothing visible. She couldn't smell anything except the char of walker bodies. Casually, she dropped her right hand to her side, and checked for her knife. Turning, she started walking towards the cut in the fence, while sneaking one more look up at the tower. Daryl was still watching her, only now he was leaning over the railing.

With measured steps, she reached the laced up cut in the fence, quickly opened it and slipped outside. Not dawdling, but not hurrying, she began walking towards the creek. Her right hand rested on her knife, her ears strained to hear if anyone was following her, Maggie's words floated in her head. And she willed herself not to turn and see if he was following her.

Reaching the creek, she hesitated at the spot where as a group, they had earlier drawn water. Pausing long enough to make sure Daryl was no longer in the watchtower, she sat down and quickly pulled off her boots. Raking her fingers through her hair, she freed it from its ponytail. Then, with her hand on her knife, just in case, she slid into the cold water.

With her feet sinking into the mud, she involuntarily caught her breath as the water rose above her knees, almost to the top of her thighs. Shivering now, with a quick look to see if there were any threats, she bent over and began splashing her face and hair. The cold water mingling with the dirt and the grime. Tracing down her cheeks. She inhaled deeply with pleasure before splashing more water on her face. Bending over to get deeper into the water, she splashed her face and her body. Letting the cold water rinse away the smell and grit of the prison. Turning her skin a delicious shade of pink, accenting the prickly goose bumps that now covered her arms, her chest, and ran up the back of her neck.

As the cool water began working on her sore muscles, she heard a hiss from behind her. "Beth! What are you doing out here by yourself!" And a hand grabbed each of her arms, hauling her out of the creek. She didn't protest, but she didn't help either. She just allowed herself to be pulled out of the creek, swallowing the smile she felt coming.

Landing on the bank, she scrambled to get her balance. "I just needed to feel the water on my face. Sorry." Secretly pleased at the way her wet top was clinging to her, she rolled her shoulders back. Smiling to herself she turned and looked up at Glenn and Maggie. "Oh! I'm okay. Let go of me." Grabbing her boots, they began hustling her back inside the fence. Looking around she spotted Daryl on point with his crossbow. Not even looking at her.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Sitting on the mattress in a cell which was now her room, wrapped in a sheet, Beth looked down at her hands laying in her lap. Maggie hovered over her, rubbing her hair with a towel. Scolding. "What were you thinking? Going outside the fence. By yourself. Without even telling anyone. What is wrong with you? You could have been killed. Well?"

Sighing, "I had my knife. I was so dirty and I thought maybe, I don't know." Shrugging, looking up at Maggie. Unrepentant, "It's silly."

Finally, sitting beside her on the bunk, cradling the wet towel in her lap with one hand and holding Beth's hand with the other, Maggie encouraged her, "You used to tell me everything. You can tell me this."

With a pink flush spreading from the back of Beth's neck forward and up, covering her cheeks, "I feel like such an idiot. It's just, I wanted..." Hanging her head, her voice dropping to a whisper, "I wanted Daryl to pay attention to me. I wanted him to see me. Okay?"

Nodding, Maggie's voice was low and quiet, "Sweetie, he does see you. And, you're about the only one he does pay attention to. He watches you **all** the time."

With a pout, "Hump. Not like that. He only sees me as a kid that he has to look out for. He's just making sure I don't get bit."

"Trust me, he **sees** you. Why do you think he called me and Glenn to come get you out of the creek? Don't you think he could have hauled you out by himself?" Maggie reached out for Beth's face and turned it to face her own, then looking her in the eyes continued. "He **sees** you. He just hasn't figured it out yet. Don't worry, he'll get there. You just be yourself, and keep doing what you do."

With a thin smile, "Okay." Yeah sis, easy for you to say. You always had Glenn.

Maggie gave her baby sister a quick hug. "I love you kid." Standing to go, she draped the damp towel over the end of the bunk, and looking back over her shoulder added, "And, seriously, don't pull anymore crazy stunts like that."

Beth nodded silently, and leaned over to lay on her bed. Her mind working over the events of the day. Too keyed up to sleep.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Morning brought the sun and new resolve. Maggie had said 'be yourself' and 'keep doing what you do.' The transformation of the prison to a home was still a work in progress. It needed something to make it feel more inviting.

After a light breakfast, as they were all still sitting as a group, Beth announced "I saw some sunflowers and pink and purple flowers outside the fences yesterday and I want to cut some to bring inside."

Maggie looked across at her. They both expected Daryl to offer to go with her. But he was silent. Instead, it was T-Dog saying "I'll go out there with you. I want to check the water supply."

Exchanging glances with her older sister, Beth offered him a gracious smile, "Thanks. How about after I get the breakfast dishes cleaned up?"

An hour later, as Beth and T-Dog headed outside the fences for their errands, Daryl and Glenn passed them in the little car. Beth watched as they pulled away, totally missing what T-Dog was saying to her.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

The vibrant color of the flowers stood in vivid contrast to the dull prison walls. Bringing the sunshine into the prison and infusing the space with joy. Their smell filled the air with a freshness that had been absent. A freshness that didn't simply cover, but actually chased the stale air out. Now it felt and smelled like home.

After two long days of working to transform the ugliness of the prison, Beth couldn't wait to fall into bed. Her limbs were heavy as she walked up the stairs to her room. She failed to notice that her room was not empty.

At her room, she saw Daryl standing on a chair inside the doorway. Taking a deep breath, she asked "Hey there. What are you doing?"

Without even looking towards her, "Hanging a curtain."

Beth smiled at him, from the inside out. He remembered. "Thank you." She leaned against the railing watching as he finished.

After several more minutes, he stepped off the chair and began pulling the curtain from side to side. Testing it. Grunting, he gave it several sharp tugs as he looked up at where it was secured, and nodded. Looking out, his eyes meeting hers, "You can open and close it. For air. Or privacy."

With her back against the railing, "Daryl, you are the best!"

Coming out to lean against the railing with her, still holding the hammer. "Um hmm." Smiling slightly at the sight of her gold halo, then looking out over the railing, "Looks good in here."

"It's the flowers."

"I was going to say clean. But, the flowers are nice too."

Beth smiled at his teasing, and then sent him off. "Go on. I have to go to bed now. I'm really tired." Later, as she shrugged out of her clothes for the night, she noticed a can of light purple paint and a paint brush sitting in the front corner of her room.

Maybe Maggie was right, she thought.


	13. Snapshots

13 - Snapshots

Daryl left. He didn't even say good-bye. He didn't send me a message. He just left. And none of the rest of it really matters anymore.

Rescuing Glenn and Maggie, he found Merle. Sort of. Ultimately, he had a choice. When he was rescued, he was supposed to come back. To be with us. But instead, he picked Merle. When he had the chance to come back to me, he didn't.

He said he was my friend. I thought he might/could/would be more. I thought I could trust him, depend on him no matter what. And now he's gone. Is it just because he found his brother? Or did my craziness drive him away? Rick said he told him to take care of Little Ass Kicker and Carl. And that Carol would understand. Carol! And then he left. Without a word for me. What does that mean? Maybe it means he knows I wouldn't understand. Maybe Rick forgot. Maybe it doesn't mean anything. Or maybe he forgot about me. Or maybe. Maybe, there is a piece of him that knows that eventually he is going to come back. To come home. Where I am.

But right now, it feels like I'm missing a part of myself. He'll be back. I hope. What will I do without him? Thank goodness I have Judith to care for. Until he comes home. And God, please God, please keep him safe. I don't need anything for myself, God. Just keep him safe and bring him home. To me. Amen.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Before Daryl left with his brother, Merle told Rick that psycho governor is going to attack us. And now, Rick is back out wandering crazy town. Glenn has gone all Chuck Norris on us and is ready to dig in and defend the prison at all costs. And all I want is my sister and Daryl back.

It's sometimes hard to wrap my head around the memory of my sister back on the farm, before everything happened. She was soft then. Hanging out on the porch. Making lemonade and baking brownies. Doing chores together, sharing secrets. Giggling about boys. Maggie used to tell me about who she was going out with and give me advice on what to do on dates. What to wear. How far was too far. And then remind me that I was still too young to even be thinking about such things.

Our new family brought the change, because they brought the walkers. Intellectually, I know that's not true. I know that the walkers would have shown up sooner or later anyways. And we probably survived because of our new family. But, emotionally, sometimes it still feels like they brought the walkers. And when the walkers came my soft sister, soft Maggie, disappeared and was replaced by warrior Maggie.

It seems like overnight my soft sister went all badass. Instead of baking brownies and giggling about boys, now she wears a holster and is proficient with every kind of automatic gun. She's fearless in facing down walkers. She's even fearless facing down people. And she's smart. No amount of weapons, no matter how good they are, can take the place of smart.

She may not have been battling walkers as long as Rick or Daryl or Glenn, but she was every bit as tough when it came to protecting our group. Our family. And now, she's broken. Battered, beaten, broken. Emotionally and spiritually. Laying on her bunk, in the room she shares with Glenn, she's still missing. And I want her back. My confidant. My advisor. My friend. My soft, warrior, badass sister. I want every part of her back.

But right now when I am missing Daryl, I especially want my soft Maggie back.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Maggie isn't crying. She isn't talking. She isn't doing anything. Except laying on her bunk with her back to us. The one person she hasn't pulled away from is Judith. Judith's young, open-faced innocence still brings hope and peace to all of us. Totally dependent and trusting, reminding us what the world could, should, look like. Where none of us have been able to reach Maggie, maybe…

"Maggie, could you hold Judith and give her a bottle?" Is that hesitation? She's sitting up. Holding Judith out and examining her face. Swallow it. She'd never hurt Judith. Never. Not even accidently. Slowly, reluctantly? Maggie pulled Judith in close, offered her the bottle and with a tiny sigh began cuddling her.

Beth walked outside the cell, willing herself to not look back. Until she was out of Maggie's line of sight. Then, pausing, she gave in to a little glance over her shoulder. Judith was cooing in Maggie's arms. She watched, as Maggie gentle cradled Judith against her shoulder and burped her. Then, as Maggie looked at Judith cooing in her arms, Beth saw a tear. And then another one. Coming faster now, washing Maggie's face. Washing away some of her pain. And Beth smiled at the thought. Maggie's coming back.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

The change came quickly. One night of preparing. One night of missing. Then mid-afternoon, without warning, they were on us. Rick caught outside the fences. Daddy down at the end of the yard. Glenn patrolling in the truck. And all of a sudden, Axel was shot. Dead. Carol hiding behind his body. Maggie passing out guns. Bullets. Running for cover. The gates being crashed by a rolling walker bomb. Someone in our guard tower. Shooting at us. Being shot by us. Glenn scooping up Michonne and daddy. And finally, Daryl and Merle arriving just in time. Saving Rick. Saving us.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

The day after the attack by the governor, Andrea showed up. She told us the governor was forming an army. He planned to attack, take the prison, probably kill us all. She was trying to get Rick and the governor together, to work out their differences. Rick decided to make a weapons run in the morning. So we could defend ourselves. Just in case.

Later that evening, Daryl argued with Glenn about Merle's continued presence. Saying that he was here and he was staying. Daddy agreed that Merle could be valuable. He had both military experience and personal experience with the governor. But nobody trusts Merle. Not after what happened with Glenn and Maggie. With Michonne. Nobody. Not even Daryl. But he's here. So it's on Daryl to make sure there's no trouble. And that everyone is safe.

Early the next morning, I listened from the shadows upstairs, as Daryl talked to Merle. Everyone else was outside. Daryl thought this was a private conversation. He didn't realize that I was watching, listening, as he threatened his brother. Walking into his space, not blinking, his face impassive. Straining to hear, as with a low harsh voice Daryl said "Stay away from them. Don't talk to them. Don't even look at them. Or I'll kill you myself. I don't care if you are my brother." I couldn't see or hear Merle's response.

In that moment, I assumed Daryl was talking about me and Carol and Maggie. Even little Judith. That he was trying to protect the women in the group. I thought it was sweet that he wanted to protect us. That he would even threaten his own brother, who he had searched for, to keep us safe. I just wish that I felt more relieved and reassured. But the fact that we are now all carrying automatic weapons, and Daryl still felt the need to warn his brother away from us. It makes me wonder what he knows about his brother.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Rick, Michonne, and Carl had left at daybreak on a run to find more guns before the governor returned.

Daryl tracked Beth down as she was feeding little Judith. He watched as she clucked her tongue, coaxing Judith to take just a little more. He smiled at the sight of her gold halo hovering over the honey faced infant. Clearing his throat, he waited for her to look up before asking, "You talk to Merle?"

Looking up at him, "No. Not really."

Nodding, then with a quiet voice, "Good. Stay away from him. He's the devil." As she started to turn into a giggle at his characterization of Merle, he added, "I'm not kidding. Stay away from Merle."

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

After his visit from Daryl, Merle decided there must have been a reason Daryl decided to warn him way from the women. Maybe a 'special' reason. He already knew Carol, it wouldn't be her. Maggie would never let him get near her again. Must be that other one. Beth. He saw her across the room, and he watched her with the baby. Walking her back and forth across the floor. Oh yeah, it was her.

Looking at her, he unconsciously began licking his lips. She was young. Tiny, but not to tiny. Her skin smooth, white, like a puddle of cream. And tight, like a rubber band that could stretch in all the right places. She probably smelled like a sugar cookie. The loose strands of her hair seemed to be reaching out, calling to him. Begging him to loosen the band that imprisoned the rest of her hair and set it free. His mouth watered just looking at her. Staring, he began unconsciously rubbing his crotch as he thought about all the fun they could have together. Oh yeah, she was the one.

You may be able to fool old Rick, baby brother. You may have even fooled yourself. But you're not fooling me. I know why you came back. Um hmm, it's your sweet tooth.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

She was carrying Judith, bouncing her lightly. Her little giggles and smiles comforted Beth. Walking back and forth across the common room, Beth craved the feel of the sunshine, but it was too dangerous to be outside. So she wore a path in the cement and whispered songs of sunshine to Judith.

From out of the shadows, Merle sidled up next to her. She felt his eyes roaming over her body, and pulled Judith closer, trying to cover her chest. With a sideways smirk, "Well ain't you somthin special. I think you got my baby brother all worked up. All soft and pretty. He never mentioned you. He let me think it was Officer Friendly got him wantin' to come back here. But I think it was you." With what could only be described as a hungry look, he ran his tongue out over his upper lip. Leaning in closer, he wrinkling his nose as he inhaled her scent. "Yeah, sugar cookies. I think I need to get to know you better, sweetheart."

Beth put her head down, shielding her eyes from his. Swallowing her first answer, she finally looked up at him with a steady gaze and with a level tone, "I'm glad for Daryl that he found you."

With undisguised lust in his eyes, Merle nodded, "Uh huh. I just bet you are, darlin'. You know, with the governor on the loose, we may not have much time left. What say you put that baby down an..."

"Merle! What the hell you doing!?" There was an unmistakable harshness in Daryl's voice as he yelled at his brother. Stepping into the common room, eyes darting from Merle to Beth, and back again. "I told you to stay away from her!"

With a heavy chuckle, not taking his eyes off her face, Merle said "Hey baby brother, no use getting your panties all in a bundle. Me and Goldilocks here, we're just gettin' acquainted. Ain't that right, Goldie?"

"You. Get out." Almost physically pushing a laughing Merle out the door. After watching the door close, Beth followed him as he walked over to a small table along the side wall. Leaning his crossbow against the table he scooped Judith out of her arms. Pulling the infant in close to his own chest, Beth watched as he cooed and gave the infant one of his rare smiles. Holding the helpless infant, instead of a weapon, his whole body seemed to relax a bit. Even his face seemed more open. And Beth marveled again, at how babies can change everything.

Finally, looking up at her, he asked "You okay?"

Nodding, "I'm fine."

"What'd Merle…"

Abruptly Beth put her hand out, cutting him off. She wasn't interested in talking about Merle. "It was fine." Looking down at her boots for a moment, then back up at his lowered face, she pushed a stray bit of hair off her cheek. Moistening her lips, then "Why did you leave?"

Glancing up, Daryl's eyes seemed to search her face for a moment before his face closed down. "I had to." Pausing, "You know. Merle."

Beth pulled in her lower lip, this sounded like an excuse "Really? Merle? If that's why you left, why'd you come back?"

Without looking directly at her, "I had to."

"Okay." She could tell by the way his back had stiffened, that he was done talking about it. "Merle sniffed me and then said 'sugar cookies.' Isn't that funny?"

Looking down at Judith, Daryl snorted, "Merle's a dumbass."

Later, as he patrolled close to the prison wall, Daryl thought about their conversation. She asked why he left, and why he came back. How could he tell her that he had to know. How could he be sure that home was with them if he didn't leave. He would never say that butterfly crap out loud. If you love something, leave it. If you can't live without it, track it down and then, hang on tight and never leave again. Nope. Never going to say that out loud. Then, allowing a contented memory to spread through him. Sugar cookies. The one thing Merle was right about. She does smell like sugar cookies.


	14. Underwater

14 - Underwater

Settling in, it seemed funny at first to wake up and not see everybody. But, it was a quick adjustment. Funny how that seems to work. One day she couldn't imagine not looking over at Maggie or her daddy or Daryl or Rick as she was opening her eyes. In fact, seeing them was comforting. And then, without any effort or pangs of withdrawal, waking up in a bed, a real bed, with no one else in the room. Suddenly that became the norm. For four glorious days Beth had her own room with her own bed. And now they're all back to sleeping with one eye open.

In two weeks they had gone from celebrating finding a new home through death and new life, kidnapping and recovery, splintering and coming back together, attack and uncertainty. It was a stark reminder of the frailty of life. And the importance of making the most of every moment. Now, they cling more closely to each other than ever before.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

With the threat of an attack from the Governor, Daryl was more determined than ever to be prepared. To be ready. For whatever might show up. So sleeping in his boots was the new norm. Boots on, knife under his pillow, and crossbow next to the bed already loaded. He was ready. For any thing that came through the door. But, getting through a rough night without waking everyone. Well, that didn't happen anymore.

In fact, ever since he had been reunited with his brother, his nightmares had become an every night reality and more violent than ever. But in conversations with Beth, he still maintained that he had 'nothing' to let out, nothing to talk about, nothing that was mushed down and may be causing his nightmares. At least he was willing to have that conversation with Beth. As much as everyone loved Daryl, no one else in their tight little group would risk mentioning his tortured nights or his frenzied motions during them. Or even their collective lack of sleep the next morning.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Nights seemed to be getting shorter and shorter. Taking an early turn in the watchtower. Then up every three hours with Judith. Between Judith whimpering for a bottle or a diaper change, and Daryl crashing the rails around his perch, it seemed Beth never had more than two hours sleep at a time. It was beginning to show on her face. With dark circles settling under her eyes. And her smile appearing less and less frequently. A smile now seemingly reserved just for Judith and Daryl.

It was in the midst of her dreams of the farm, that the sounds of loud groans, followed by the sound of something or someone hitting the concrete and metal assaulted her senses. With her head still swimming in half formed dreams, Beth rolled off her bottom bunk. Half standing, still pushing herself up with her hands, she began propelling herself down the corridor. Towards the noise which was now summoning others from their sleep.

How Daryl could sleep through the frantic activity of his nightmare driven state was a mystery. But the relationship that had grown between them over the previous year, served him well. Quietly sitting on the edge of his mattress, Beth began softly brushing his hair back from his face. Just the touch of her hand on his brow seemed to bring immediate relief. His muscles which had been jerking his limbs in movements he would never sanction awake, began to relax. Leaning over she rested her face near his. Her soft voice soaked into him. The familiar words of the lullaby calming.

In minutes, his nightmare seemingly dissolved into nothingness. His breathing evened out into peaceful snores. And with just a moment of hesitation, Beth climbed over Daryl and laid down on his mattress behind him. Her mind and body aching from lack of sleep, she wanted nothing more than to sink into unconsciousness for a few minutes. But, the abrupt realization of his nearness drove her consciousness into sensory overload.

The heat from his body rolled over her. Breathing in deeply, his scent filling her, awakening something deep within. Turning towards him, she buried her face in his back. Her fingers reached up to tickle behind his ear and gently play in his hair. Her secret-self wrestled with her desire to wake him up. To see what, if anything, she could stir in him. Her fear of finding she couldn't stir anything. And her fear of finding she had stirred too much.

Without thinking, she pulled back slightly to stare at the back of his relaxed shoulders, as they rose and fell with each breath. The rhythmic movement mesmerizing. Her hand snaking down to run her fingers along his arm. She watched as what seemed like someone else's hand lightly moved over the muscles in his upper arm. Marveling at the way they felt.

Her breath caught in her throat and she was confronted with the unexpected feeling of being forced to breath underwater. Her fingers now stretching to trace the scars on his back. Slowly leaning forward, tentatively tasting the salty sheen on those same scars with the soft tip of her tongue. Then tracing gentle kisses along their raised ridges. As she felt her breath slowly being pulled from her body. Her head spinning. Sinking into her need and want. In the closeness. She was drowning in herself.

Totally out of her element, far from shore, her eyes popped open. Startled. She realized that his shoulders were still, frozen in place. And her ears were met with a stark silence, as if he was holding his breath. He was awake.

"Get away from me, girl!" His low voice cut the silence, sounding scary and deadly in her ears. And all she could think was, Oh dear God. Her head and hands jerked back to her chest, as if she were in danger. Fish like, gasping for air, gracelessly she scrambled over him and fled back to her own room.

Choking on her guilt over creeping on him. Touching him in his sleep. And her embarrassment at being caught. She hid behind the curtain hanging in her room. Willing her breathing to slow down as she strained to hear any other sounds from outside her room. To hear if he was moving around, coming after her even. And for the first time she could remember, she was afraid of him. Of what he would say. Or do. Of what she would say. And she desperately wished that she could take back the last 30 minutes.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Intruding into the depth of his dreamless sleep, Daryl felt a soft, small hand on his shoulder. The tingle of nails slowly trailing down his arm. A warm wet sensation tickling his back, stirring his arousal. A growl began to grow in the pit of his stomach and a small contented smile drifted across his face as a familiar scent filled his nose. His barely awake brain sluggishly worked to identify the enticing smell. Beth! Immediately he was fully awake.

What the hell! With a sharp intake of breath. Eyes open, then shielded behind their lids. Immobile. Waiting. His heart pounding in his ears, it was suddenly impossible for him to move. Or even to breath. Jesus effing Christ, you can't do this to me. What do you think is going to happen? You have to move. Right now. "Get away from me, girl!" His voice gravelly, it felt ugly, even to him.

As he lay frozen in place, he felt Beth snatch herself away from him. Jumping up, she hastily climbed over him, and ran down the hall. Exhaling, he listened to her steps on the cement. Straining to hear as she rushed down the corridor, bouncing between the railing and the wall, finally back into her own room. It was with relief that he heard her curtain move. Catching his breath, he slowly sat up on his mattress. Standing, he stretched his muscles as he slipped on his shirt and vest, then picked up his crossbow and sheathed his knife. Silently he glided down the stairs by his perch and headed outside to the watchtower.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Approaching the top of the tower, Daryl was met with the sound of passionate moaning. Pushing on the door, harder than he intended, it slammed open breaking the spell. "What the hell Glenn! I thought you were on watch. You aren't going to see anything like that!"

With hands and arms waving, clothing was rearranged as bodies came apart and moved back together. With Maggie behind him, eyes glaring as she stared over his shoulder, Glenn breathlessly squeaked out, "What are you doing up here?"

Still standing in the doorway, "You two are so damn loud I heard you inside." His voice harsh. "Now, get out!"

Maggie and Glenn pushed past Daryl grumbling to each other, as they headed down the stairs and back across the yard. Reaching the door, they passed Beth coming out. Without a look or a sound, Glenn continued inside, while Maggie reached out to her sister. "What's going on? We just saw…" Beth shrugged off her sister's hand without answering her and continued walking towards the watchtower.

Daryl let his body rest against the watchtower outside wall. Leaning against the railing, staring out at nothingness. His mind an unwanted jumble of half formed thoughts that he could not will into silence. His breathing slamming into his chest, he was grateful for the breeze and its calming qualities. Lighting a cigarette, half heartedly scanning the inside yard, he saw Beth making her way towards the watchtower. Clutching a short jacket across her chest. And for a second he considered vaulting the wall and running. Or barricading the door and refusing to let her in. Ultimately, he just looked over the railing at his smoke dissolving into nothingness_._

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

She found him leaning over the edge of the watchtower. With a cigarette, blowing smoke rings. A forced casualness in his frame. "Hi. I thought I might find you here." She said to his back. "I'm really sorry for… I don't know what I was… I'm just sorry."

The silence oppressive and unending. As she was ready to give up and go in, with a low voice, he said "Rick's meeting with the Governor tomorrow."

Beth looked down at her feet, her arms across her chest. And with a barely audible voice, "Yeah. I know."

Daryl continued quietly, "So, I can't be doing this right now."

Beth looked up and stared at his back for a minute, before looking away to the side. Turning she walked to the opposite side of the watchtower and looked out. Not really seeing anything in the darkness. Not trying to see anything, really. "Yeah."

"I have to have my head on straight. And if I, if we…"

"I know, I know." Turning to leave, Beth reached up to lightly trail her hand across the top of his shoulders. A small sigh escaping her, as she opened the door and started down the steps towards a now sleepless night.

And with his demons twitching furiously, Daryl resolved to pick this up after the Governors threat was behind them.


	15. Proof of Life

15 - Proof of Life

After a day of negotiating with the Governor, Rick was given a choice. Turn over Michonne and he goes away. Or, we go to war. Initially Rick was going to give the Governor Michonne, just for the chance for us to live peacefully.

But that's not us.

Rick changed his mind, but not before Merle snatched up Michonne and went off on his own to turn her over. Then, an amazing thing happened. Merle had a change of heart. He sent Michonne back to the prison with the message 'get ready for what's coming next' while he went on to kill the Governor and his thugs himself. Unfortunately, he was caught by the Governor, who shot him and left him to turn. And that's how Daryl found him.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

After having to put Merle down, Daryl wasn't anxious to get back to the prison. Walking up to the gate, he could see Rick eyeing him as he wiped the snot from his nose with back of his hand. It was all he could do keep the tears in. Can't be weak. We're going to war and we have to win. And now it's not just for us. Merle gave us a chance, he gave us time. I have to make what he did mean something.

Beth was waiting outside the prison doors. Sitting on top of the picnic table. Watching the gate. Through the moisture collecting in his eyes again, he could see that damn knit hat on her head. Hiding her. He could feel her eyes on his face, as she searched for clues. While her presence was normally comforting, tonight he wasn't sure he was ready to be with people. Not even her.

When he didn't slow or walk towards her, she stood and hurried to catch up with him. Unexpectedly appearing at his side, breathing heavily, her fingers grabbed at his sleeve, trying to drag him to a stop. From the corner of his eyes he could see her looking up at him, as she pulled against him. "Are you okay? Did you find him?"

Without slowing, or turning towards her, "Yeah, I found him. He was… I had to..." Shaking his head thinking, not now. Can't do this now. Can't talk about this now. That makes it to real. Not now. Maybe not ever. Have to get ready.

Suddenly, he felt her soft fingers grasping his calloused hand. Pulling it back. Slowing him down. His feet forgot how to work. Stumbling slightly, turning towards her, he looked down at her upturned face. And he was assaulted by the smell of sugar cookies. Merle got something right. She asked about him. She cared even after Merle talked to her like that. Her mouth was moving. What was she saying? There had to be words coming out, her lips were still doing that… thing. Shaking his head, blinking back the tears that threatened again, he was barely able to hear her say, "I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

Looking at her hard, the dichotomy of her softness against the automatic weapon she carried was not lost on him. Reaching out, he took the gun from her and carried it back to the picnic table. Silently, he pulled the knit hat from her head and dropped it on the ground behind her. Staring at her gold halo, the very symbol of goodness that had been hiding underneath it. His eyes searching hers, as he tangled his calloused fingers in the loose strands of gold that floated around her face. And for just a moment, he forgot how to breathe.

Looking up at him, she was the very embodiment of sugar cookies. Sweet, enticing, fragile, irresistible. With a sharp breath, he grabbed her hand hard and forcefully, soundlessly, silently led her around the corner. Into the grass. Out of sight of her father, Rick, and whoever was in the watchtower. Finally, no longer able or willing to control himself, he turned, dropped his crossbow and wrapped his arms around her. Pulling her towards him, he lifted her off the ground until her face was almost level with his, her hands resting on his shoulders. A hint of expectation working across her face.

Staring into her eyes, they were soft, open, accepting, and he desperately wanted to pour himself into her. To feel her vitality, her life beat. Pushing his forehead against hers, his eyes focused on hers. Her cool fingers lightly trailed down one side of his face, and across his lower lip. Hungrily he breathed in her scent, he couldn't get enough of it. Of her.

Roughly he ran his nose up her cheek and across her forehead, inhaling deeply. Suddenly aware that her feet were dangling several inches off the ground, he pulled his head back and sank to his knees. Her legs buckled around them as her feet hit the ground. Pushing her back, he heard her backside hit the ground hard and knew she would have a bruise. But he didn't care. With what sounded like a growl, he pressed his knee into her thighs, separating them, so he could crawl between her legs. His need for her growing exponentially. Hovering over her, he scrutinized her face. Her eyes wide, her lips slightly parted, silently looking up at him. He didn't know what she was thinking, what she wanted. So he rationalized that whatever he wanted, that's what she wanted, too.

Grabbing both her delicate wrists, he pinned them above her head with one of his large hands. Cupping her face with his other hand, he lightly rubbed his rough calloused thumb across her lips. Panting heavily, he leaned into her, brushing her soft lips with his chapped ones. His lips pressed into hers, suddenly insistent and demanding, his stubble scratching her cheek. As a soft moan escaped her, he hungrily sucked her lower lip as if to devour it. Roughly his tongue forced her lips apart. Possessing them, exploring every bit of her mouth, daring her to keep a part of herself from him.

Her heart began to race against him, as his hand roamed across her body. His thick calluses catching on her smooth shoulder, causing his breath to hitch. Silently cursing the cool air making a sweater necessary, he relentlessly pushed his hand up under her top. She inhaled sharply as his coarse hand moved across her tender skin. His fingertips grazed her hip as they ran along the inside of the waistband of her jeans, and he momentarily felt his breath being sucked from his body.

Releasing her mouth, he began trailing hot kisses down her neck and across her shoulder. Hearing her breath break, he pulled his lips from her, immediately missing her arresting scent. Lifting his face to hers, for the briefest of moments their eyes met. Hers now empty. The soft, openness was gone, and he quickly looked away.

As his inner demons wrestled with his better angels, his eyes swept over her face. Looking everywhere except her eyes. Her lips were swollen, she smelled like sugar cookies, and that damn gold halo seemed to actually sparkle. His breathing ragged, he wanted every part of her. And he intended to have her. Then, with a start, he realized that the slender wrists he was holding so tightly were trembling. With his chest heaving, he pulled himself back. Jerking his hands from her as if they had been stung.

Oh God. What did I do. Holding her down, she's shaking. And not saying a word. Jesus effin Christ. Practically raped her. Another proud moment.

Fuckin hell, I am such loser. A redneck, douchebag, asshole, loser.

Sitting back on his heels, Daryl watched helplessly as Beth sat up. She sucked in her breath, smoothed down her clothing and began scooting back away from him. Her eyes never leaving his, her breathing uneven. Finally stopping, she wiped her face with her hands, tucking stray strands of hair behind her ears. Then dropping her hands to her lap, she simply stared, first at her lap, and then up at Daryl. Her expression unreadable.

Daryl felt himself wilting under her scrutiny. He felt even worse than he had before, worse than when he put Merle down earlier. Hanging his head, he stared at his own hands, searching for the correct words. For something, anything, that could put things back together, make everything okay again. Finally raising his head to look at her, in a barely audible whisper, "Beth, I…"

Holding his gaze, blinking, she put out an upraised hand to silence him. "Don't say anything. Please… Just don't say anything."

The night air hung heavily around them, making it difficult to breathe. Time crawled. After what seemed an eternity, head low, his voice even lower, "I didn't mean…"

Her hands back in her lap, with a firmness he didn't expect, "Daryl, I didn't say no."

Inching towards her, his eyes searched her face. "You did. I saw it on your face, in your eyes."

"Daryl, I didn't say no. I didn't say stop. I didn't push you away. I didn't try to get away. You didn't do anything wrong."

Her face had a raw intensity he didn't expect. An intensity he couldn't remember ever seeing on her before. As if she was willing him to back down. But, he couldn't. His voice insistent, "Beth, I saw your face. You wouldn't look at me. You were shaking."

"My elbow was on a rock." Daryl starred at her in disbelief. "You didn't hurt me. You didn't." He inched closer, there was conviction and passion radiating out of her, encircling him like a shield. "That wasn't you. That was proving that you're still alive."

Shifting, to sit beside him, their bodies touching, Beth covered his hand with her own. Then, gently, "Daryl, you had to put Merle down today, didn't you."

Looking at his lap, his voice barely audible, with a quiet sigh "Yeah."

"You know the Governor did that on purpose. He **wanted** you to find him. He thought that would break you." Daryl looked up, but refused to meet her eyes. His face had hardened, any cracks in his feelings were locked away. "It didn't. Remember what you told me about having to keep your head on straight?

"Yeah."

"Look at me." Pausing until his eyes found hers, "We're still alive. You're here. I'm here. So get your head on straight and go destroy him." Softly sighing, "And then we'll do this right."

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Walking in together, Daryl's hand on Beth's elbow as if he was leading her, the common room and the cell block were a buzz of activity. Their small group all packing and preparing for what they knew was coming in the morning. The Governor and his army.

Maggie was carrying a box towards the door when they came in. Spotting them, she called out to Daryl, "Hey! Did you just get back?"

"Um hmm." Daryl dropped his hand from Beth's elbow, and looked past Maggie at some distant spot in the next county as he kept walking.

Setting her box on the floor, Maggie waited to talk to her sister. When Daryl was out of earshot, she quietly asked, "Were you waiting for him?"

"Yeah. He had to put Merle down."

"Is he okay?"

"He's ready, if that's what you're asking."

"What did you do?" Leaning in closer, Maggie scrutinized her younger sister. "You have grass in your hair. Are you okay?"

Absently picking at her hair, "I'm fine."

"Yeah, your lips are all red and swollen. I'll bet his are, too. I told you. I knew he'd figure things out." Maggie pulled her arms across her chest, as a Cheshire cat grin spread across her face. "But, I'd stay away from daddy tonight."

With a smile she didn't feel, "Thanks sis." Walking into her room, Beth picked up her backpack. She pulled out three pictures from an inside pocket. Reclining on her bottom bunk, Beth examined the pictures of her mother, as she absently rubbed the fading scars on her wrist.


	16. Pendulum Shift

16 - Pendulum Shift

Momma and daddy took us to the Tellus Science Museum in Cartersville when I was small. There was a pendulum on display there. I remember it being very big, swinging back and forth over a compass-y looking thing on the floor. We stood and watched it for a bit. With each swing, it moved a little and hit in a slightly different spot. Over the course of a day, it goes all the way back around to where it started from. But to just stand and watch for a little bit, you can't tell that it's moving, that it's hitting in a different spot every time. Life seems to work like that.

Things happen. Every day happens. It feels like life keeps hitting in the same place. But it isn't. Because life moves and one day, seemingly for no reason, everything is different. One day you notice that life started hitting in a different place when you weren't paying attention. One day we were settling into the prison, it was our home. And the next day, we were recovering and rebuilding from the war with the Governor.

Now, our tight little group has expanded to include all the Woodbury survivors, the Decatur group, a group of college students, and some other folks. It seems like people just keep showing up. Life is the same, only different. And so are we.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Rubbing the last remnants of sleep from her eyes, Beth languidly stretched as she listened for signs of movement. Evidence of others stirring. But all she heard was the liquid breathing of people sleeping, punctuated by the occasional snore. With a satisfied sigh, she pulled her blanket up under her chin and started to snuggle back down into her bunk. Luxury. With Judith now bunking in with her daddy, Beth had a few more minutes all to herself. Barely getting her eyes closed, the sound of a particularly close snort startled her.

Eyes wide, she rolled over on her side to look at the floor. There he was. This was new. Sound asleep on the floor of her room. Wrapped in his scratchy poncho. Head cushioned in the crook of his elbow. One knee poking through the rip in his pants. Light snores dissolving into the half light. Crossbow in the corner. Knife on the floor in front of him.

With her head half hanging off the edge of the bed she studied his face. He was a study in broken perfection when he slept, like a piece of soft chocolate melting on your tongue. His mouth relaxed. The ever present edge of anger disappeared. Inhaling deeply, a contented smile began working its way across her face at his familiar scent. His dark shaggy hair feathered across his cheek, disguising a fading black eye. The scruff on his chin, appealing, even from a distance. An air of guarded peace emanated from his shallow breathing. He'd had a good night.

After silently observing him for several minutes, she couldn't resist sticking a toe out and poking him in the back of the arm. "Hey you. Wake up."

Clearing his throat, clothes rustling, he sat up. Instinctively reaching for his weapons. An automatic check.

Her pleasure at seeing him was written in her small smile and lifted by her voice. "It's been over two weeks. I missed you."

"Yeah. I was looking for the Governor."

Good naturedly searching his face, "So, why are you in here? Something happen to your perch?"

Looking up from under his hair, face scrunched and just one eye open, "I'm moving. All these people around. The perch is to open now."

Beth slowly pushed herself up, carefully keeping herself covered with her blanket. Her mind suddenly working furiously. A slight tightness gripping her chest. Struggling to maintain a veneer of casualness. Head tipped down, allowing her loose hair to shield her face, "Yeah? Where you moving to?"

"Um mmm." His eyes now searching for her, "What do you think?"

Pushing her hair back, with an intentionally light air, "I don't think you should be sleeping on the floor of my room."

"Well, the Governor's gone. I don't know." Shrugging, "I thought… Maybe…" His face closed, not giving anything away. But, from the depths of his eyes he was asking, questioning, searching for her. And the pendulum hit in a little different spot.

With her blanket still covering her, Beth pulled her knees up under her chin and wrapped her arms around her legs, as she looked out from her bunk at him. Quietly, "If you're asking… If you should… No. You just got back. We haven't even had a chance to talk or anything."

Nodding, his voice flat. "Okay." Silently, he stood and stretched. His eyes never leaving her face.

"But, you know, we're still…" Her conciliatory tone rich with promise.

"Yeah." And like a shadow, he was gone. Slowly pulling herself from her bed, she adjusted her curtain, so it was completely closed. Keeping out prying eyes, but not the sound of people beginning to move around and guarded conversations. As she shrugged into her clothes and carefully pulled her hair back into a ponytail, she heard the sound of things being tossed and dragged out of a cell. Followed by loud cursing.

"I told you to get your shit out. I meant now!"

Looking out to see what all the commotion was about, Beth frowned as she saw Daryl yelling at a college student. Ordering him to remove his belongings from the third cell down from hers. Moving into the hallway, she leaned against the railing. Watching as Daryl threw his poncho on the top bunk. The rest of his things, the few items he had, quickly followed. As the student juggling his belongings, squeezed by her.

Finally, she couldn't contain herself any longer. Slowly walking down to his new cell, her eyes sparking, "What are you doing? You can't just throw Adam out of his cell. There are plenty of vacant cells you can take."

Staring at her, "I'm taking this one."

"Daryl!" But he had already stopped listening. His back turned, he was heading for the stairs.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

With so many more people roaming around, the perch was to open, to vulnerable. But every cell in her block was already taken. So, if Beth wasn't going to let him stay in her room, then it was time for him to find another place. Time to move someone, on her floor, out. A college student. "I told you to get your shit out. I meant now!" Despite swearing he would never sleep in a cage, it only took him 15 minutes to move his stuff into the now vacant cell just three down from hers. Close enough to keep an eye on her, but not creep her out. Probably. He didn't want to be a stalker. But with all these new people, people he didn't know, didn't trust, he had to be close to keep her safe. To keep his demons at bay.

"What are you doing?" Maybe this was to close. Too late. Not moving again.

Heading outside, he walked along the fence, patrolling. Inwardly smiling at the thought of her gold halo. She looked good. And still smelled like sugar cookies. Not many people would walk all the way out here to bother him. It was a good place to think. To watch the rest of the yard. To keep track of where people were. Who they were with. And if she came out.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Beth ran across the inside court, hurrying to catch up with Adam. Even with a good head start, it proved to be easier than she thought it would be. Weighed down with all his belongings, he was moving slowly. "Hey. Need some help?"

She could see the surprise on his face when he turned back to look at her. This was already the longest conversation they had ever had. "What?"

"I can carry something for you." He was taller, thinner, and oddly more angular than she remembered. And clearly he hadn't had much time to pack. Odds and ends of things were stacked up and sticking out in every direction. Reaching up she tried to lift a small box that seemed precariously perched on the very top. And suddenly, they were both juggling to catch the cascade of his things. Most of which landed on the ground. Stooping to help pick things up, "I don't know if we've really met. I'm Beth."

"I know." Mildly surprised at his response, she stopped what she doing and stared at him. "You're one of The First."

"The First?"

"Well, you were the first ones here. You cleared out all the walkers. Did the hard work before the rest of us showed up. So, yeah, props on being part of The First." Standing, his arms full, he looked down at her. Nodding.

Beth swallowed her smile, The First. Hmm. "Okay. You're Adam, right? One of the students?" As they started across the inside court towards the next cell block, her arms full, Beth saw Daryl walking the fence. On patrol. As Adam jabbered away, about nobody cares what, Beth mentally replayed her earlier conversation with Daryl. The sight of him sleeping on her floor. Sighing softly at the memory of how sweet he looked. And she resolved to track him down later. "What? Yeah, that's funny." Chuckling softly, she hoped that was the right response to whatever Adam had said.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

As the daylight disappeared into the night, Daryl found Beth with a nod. Following him, she found herself walking towards the picnic table right outside the prison door. The one she sat on the night he had to put Merle down. Together, they sat side by side on the top, catching up. After a few minutes of comparing notes on his search for the Governor and the goings on while he was gone, Beth said, "You were kind of jerk today with Adam. Kicking him out that room."

A smile played at the corner of Daryl's mouth, "No. I was a **real** jerk."

Grinning at his honesty, "He seems nice. I helped him find a new room and get settled."

"Um humm. Just, be careful." The smile gone, his face guarded. As if unwilling to give too much away.

Lightly squeezing his upper arm, teasing, "Ohh! I think you're jealous."

"Jealous? Of him?! Pfft."

Looping her arm around his, "Yeah, you're jealous. And you're a pretty bad liar. Well, don't be jealous. We just talked. Well, mostly he talked and…" He was staring at her. Not listening, just watching her. Her mouth, her eyes, her hair. Softly, "I'm really glad you're back."

His eyes were burning into hers. "Yeah?"

"Yeah. I missed you."

Nodding, "Missed you." Tentatively, he started to drape his arm around her shoulders. As smooth and graceful as he was in the woods, he was equally awkward being with her.

Sharply inhaling, her heart racing, Beth tried to catch her breath. Slightly turning towards him, and leaning away, her hand grabbing his arm, "Wait!"

His eyes searched hers, his face questioning, "What?"

"I think we need, well I need, to talk about, you know, the day you put Merle down. And we went out back. Together."

Head down, his face sagging sighing heavily, "Okay."

Quietly, looking down at her hands which were folded in her lap, "You really scared me that night."

A shadow floated across his face.

Tipping her head towards him, "I wasn't sure you could stop."

Nodding, "I know." His eyes, moving back up to hers, "When I looked in your eyes. You weren't there."

Silently she stared at him. Mentally replaying the events of that night, just as she had every night since. "Is that why you left?"

"Yeah. No. I…" Licking his top lip, head slowly shaking from side to side, "I did that." Gripping the picnic table top, eyes searching for her, in her face and her eyes. "Never want to see that look again. Beth, I swear…"

Swallowing hard, hands in her lap, looking at her boots, "It wasn't just you. I thought that was what you needed. You know, before the Governor."

Sliding away from her, eyebrows knitting together, from between half clenched teeth, "_**You think**_ I'm that fragile? That I couldn't…"

"**No!** Not fragile. I think your heart is that tender. Remember how crazy I got after my mom," unconsciously rubbing her wrist. "I didn't want you to die. That's all."

Endless minutes passed as they stared into each other. Finally, his face relaxing slightly, "I'm here now. We can fix this."

Exhaling as a slow smile crossed her face, "Yeah, we can. I just think... I need, to take a step back. Give whatever this is, a little time. Okay?"

"Okay." Standing with one smooth movement, he turned and reached for her hand to help her up. Catching her balance, she stared at his profile and wondered, How? How do we fix this? Under a blanket of silence, they started back into the prison.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Later that night, Beth stepped into Maggie and Glenn's room. "Hey sis. Can I talk to you. Alone."

Grinning, "I know the drill. 'Glenn, get out.'" And grabbing his gun, he left.

Chin down, eyes on the floor, gravity tugging at the ends of her mouth, Beth pulled the curtain closed behind her before she sat on the bottom bunk. "Maggie, I…" Sighing heavily, "I think I broke up with Daryl."

Slowly, "You know, for months all you wanted was for him to pay attention to you, and now… Do you know what you're doing?"

"No, not really." With her head in Maggie's lap, "Can I sleep with you tonight?"

Brushing the invisible stray strands of hair from her sister's cheek, "Sure." Without another word, Beth stretched out on Maggie's bottom bunk. As Maggie lay down behind her, comforting her just as she had when they were younger, with unfocused eyes Beth stared into the wall.


	17. Messy

17 - Messy

Two nights had passed since Daryl's middle of the night return. Two nights since he had seen Beth. Two nights since she had been back in her room. Ever since their conversation out on the picnic table, she had seemingly disappeared.

Early in the morning, after the second night, Daryl went into her room. A sweeping glance told him she had not been back. Sitting on her bottom bunk, scowling, his demons twitching, he pulled her pillow to his face and inhaled. Her scent was faint. What good does having a room three doors down from hers do, if she never comes back to her own room? How am I supposed to look after her, if I can't find her? What do I say to her dad? And how can we fix things if we don't talk? Enough of this shit.

Loudly banging on the outside of Glenn and Maggie's room, "Hey, Beth! You in there?" His gruff voice waking everyone in the cellblock.

Maggie poked her head out after a couple of minutes, carefully keeping the curtain closed around her. "Hey Daryl."

With a slight nod, his face closed, "She here?"

Reaching to smooth her hair, her eyes tried to penetrate his expression. All while carefully blocking the entrance to her cell. Her voice acidic, "You mean my sister? If you're asking about Beth, yeah, she's here."

Shifting his weight, uncomfortable in the presence of her unspoken accusations. His eyes narrow, "She okay?"

Maggie stepped into the hall, her elbows slightly bent, her right hand curled into an angry little balled up fist, invading his personal space. With a hiss, "I told you about hurting her. You better fix this or I'll fix you!"

With his muscles tensing and body temperature beginning to rise, from between clenched teeth, "You're not helping. Beth! Get out here!"

Despite Maggie's best efforts, Beth appeared, pulling the curtain to one side. Stepping into the hall, face unusually pale, expression unreadable. And absent the gold halo, her hair was hanging lifeless around her face. Even with her arms hugging herself, he could see that she was still wearing the same clothes he had last seen her in. Softly, "Hey."

After some quiet conversation, Beth walked off to her own room, alone. Intent on getting a shower and a change of clothes. While Daryl and Maggie continued to eye each other, like a couple of dogs with their teeth bared. Each trying to silently assess what the other was thinking. What the other's intentions were. Daryl finally stalked off, silently vowing to catch Beth when she came outside. No matter what Maggie said or did.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Walking along the fence with Maggie, it was her first time out in two days. The sun felt warm on her shoulders, cutting through her gloom, restoring her spirit. There was a time when she couldn't have imagined looking forward to popping walkers through the fence. And yet here she was, with a crowbar and an apron.

The thought of intense physical activity, doing her part to protect the group, was appealing. The hard, messy work would stop her from dwelling on her personal life. Wondering if she was being really stupid or really smart. Or why both words started with the letter S. From being drawn into awkward, unpleasant conversations. Or giving in to another bout of self pity or self loathing. Having to admit to herself that she really, really missed him. Or even how the messy work mirrored her messy life.

A sudden shadow loomed over her shoulder. Long, angular, accompanied by a nervous coughing and what sounded like someone trying to spit out sensible vowels in the form of words. With a sideways glance at Maggie, Beth stopped and spun around. Catching Adam totally off guard, causing him to trip into her as he tried to stop. Falling to the ground, she collapsed underneath him.

With a faint chuckle she scrambled to her feet and then stretched out a hand to him, "Adam! What are you doing out here without a crowbar?"

A serious look of confusion crossing his face, "I didn't think we were allowed to do that. I mean, uh, I didn't think we were old enough to, you know." His mouth gaping, fish like, as his eyes seemed to search the air around her for an answer to her question.

Turning, Beth hurried to catch up with Maggie, as he trailed behind her. Yelling back at him, "You need to be able to do this." Looking over her shoulder at him, with an upward nod "What's in the box?"

"Uh, a chess set. I thought you might want to play."

Stopping, she turned and tipped her head back to look him in the face. Squinting, her eyebrows working together, "Seriously? A chess set?"

With a nod, his mouth working into an encouraging smile, "Um hmm. I'll teach you."

Tapping her left hand with the side of the crowbar she held in her right hand, "There's real stuff to do here, Adam. The things on the other side of the fence want to eat you. You come help and we can play later."

Blinking, his mouth opening, "Okay. Clutch!"

As he fell into step beside her, Beth caught Maggie smirking and rolling her eyes. With a conspiratorial whisper, "I think he likes you."

Beth looked at Maggie, raised her eyebrows and mouthed, "Lucky me." While Adam just kept walking. Seemingly oblivious to the conversation flowing around him.

One. Two. Three. No matter how many of the undead they smashed, they just seemed to keep on coming. And the more they took out, the messier things got. Four. Five. Six. Walker guts on her apron. Her gloves. In her hair. Seven. Eight. Nine. The messier she got on the outside, the more she realized how messy she felt on the inside. Even before the turn, tomorrow was never guaranteed. Now, she didn't have time for life to be messy.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Dinner was quiet. Not eating, just holding Judith as she flipped through a book on chess basics. Trying not to look at anyone. Intentionally not noticing that she was being watched. By Maggie. Glenn. Adam. Daryl. Wanting one more night, just one more night, to herself. Pushing every thought to the edge, futile trying to stay focused on the present, the immediate.

Beginning at the farm, then on the road, in the prison, a connection had grown between her and Daryl. It wasn't something she could actually hear, smell, touch, or even taste. It was deeper than that. Whatever it was it touched her soul, and she knew he felt it, too. She could always sense him, and she knew he could sense her. But now, nothing. In that moment, the hot, crowded, sweaty interior of the prison crowded in. Smothering her.

The prison suddenly oppressive, she couldn't wait to get out. Passing little Judith off to Carol, she bolted for the door. The picnic table, the site of so many conversations, was beckoning. The cool hard top seemed to have worn spots from the times they had sat together. Running her hand along the top, she felt her outsides collapsing inward. Her desire to sit driven out by her refusal to sit there alone. Or with the wrong person. The emptiness of the table mocking the messiness she felt inside.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

As Beth ran out the door. Adam stood and carried his plate to the dirty dish tub, scrapped it and started for the door. Daryl two steps ahead of him. As Adam rounded the door into the darkness, he was cut off. Daryl's face a mask, "Where you headed?"

Stuttering, Adam tried to look past him to see where Beth had gotten off to, "I'm just going to catch up with Beth."

"Why?"

Rubbing the back of his neck, Adam had begun to sweat in the cool night air. "I, I like her and she promised to play chess with me."

Unable to think of a legitimate reason to prevent him from going after her. Daryl stepped to the side and scowled into the darkness.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Beth sat at a random table in the yard, eyes closed, her head in her hands. Adam showed up. With his chess set. Opening the box, carefully pulling out each piece and setting up the board. Her head spinning, thinking about who wasn't sitting across from her. "I don't really know how to play. Why don't you tell me about the pieces?" That was all the encouragement he needed.

Minutes passed, 30, then 45, over an hour. He kept talking. Every so often running his fingers up his neck, through his hair, or to the ring in his eyebrow. Picking up the individual pieces, handing them to her, naming them, describing what they could do. Pawn. Rook. Bishop. Knight. Queen. King. The names ran together, what they did, how they moved, it sounded like one long boring run on sentence that after the first few words didn't make any sense. Except for the Queen.

The Queen was the most powerful piece. Because it could move in any direction. It couldn't jump over other pieces, like the Knight could, but it could move in any direction. Just like a person. His mouth still moving, he kept on talking, while her mind was suddenly fixed on the Queen.

The Queen can move in any direction. Like me. I can move in any direction. I don't have to keep moving down this path. I can change direction. I can go back. I can reverse. I can shift, **I** can even jump. Her face flushed, her mouth slightly open, breathing a little more rapidly than usual. Extending her hand with the piece in it, "Adam, this is really interesting. But, I need to go in now. Here's the Queen."

"You can keep that one. I have another set." A slight smile briefly crossed his face, as his forehead creased.

Jumping from the picnic table bench, starting to hurry off, she turned back towards him. Just long enough to ask, "You have two chess sets and you can't kill walkers? How are you still alive?" Without waiting for a response, she headed off into the dark. Sliding the Queen into the front pocket of her jeans, her boots scraping on the cement. She wrapped one arm around herself as she opened the door to the watchtower, her other hand balancing lightly along the hand rail as she started running up the dark steps,

One. Two. Three. There are 26 steps to the top of the watchtower. Six. Seven. Eight. I think he's up here. Eleven. Twelve. Thirteen. What if he isn't up here? I'll be all out of breath for nothing. Nineteen. Twenty. And sweaty. Twenty-one. I don't have to keep going in the same direction. I can change. Twenty-three. I can go back. I don't have to run. Twenty-four. I can fix this. Twenty-five. No, **we** can fix this. Twenty-six.

Pausing, at the top of the steps. Bending over, hands on her knees, softly gasping for breath. What am I doing here? How did my life get so, **so**.

Taking a deep breath, she slowly turned the door handle and pushed the door open. Peering into the darkness as she stepped outside. His winged vest in front of her. Turning. The wings gone, replaced by blue eyes, that crinkled in the corners. And a look that said he was glad to see her. A look that no one would notice, except her.

Leaning back against the door, both hands behind her back. Slightly breathless, speechless, face flushed from being in his presence, as much as the run up the steps. Swallowing, panting slightly, "Hey."

Leaning back against the railing, in a low voice, "Hey yourself."

Watching his face, "I was outside today. Taking out walkers."

"I know. I saw you." Good. He was still paying attention.

Intentionally stepping into his space, "Yeah. Well, it's really messy out there." The heat rolling off him scalded her skin, even as her own rising heat seemed to cause her blood to boil.

"Um hmm."

"It made me think," Oh God, so hard to concentrate when we're this close. "Most of life is messy. And it's short. And, **you said** we could fix whatever… this is we do. So…" Heart in her mouth, her breath breaking as she looked up at him. Her legs temporarily wobbly, wanting more, but not trusting her own emotions. Her eyes wide, "So, we need to do that. To fix this."

Slightly leaning towards her, inhaling deeply, then with a husky whisper, "We will. We are."

"Okay then. I'm going now." With a supreme effort she backed up to the door behind her, and with a last look, she turned and fled down the steps. Not slowing until she was safely behind the curtain of her own cell.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Night. In her own bed. For the first time in three nights. Suddenly wanting only to sleep. Body and soul exhausted after two nights of not sleeping in Maggie's bed. Placing the Queen in the center of her dresser, where she could see it from every spot in the room. Sinking onto her mattress, with one last look at the Queen, before allowing her body to slide sideways onto the bed. Feet still on the ground, head on her pillow. So comfortable and comforting. Familiar. But different.

Half laying, head on her pillow, she inhaled deeply. Something about it waking her. Her arm snaking under it, pulling it even closer to her face. It was the smell. Different. Faint. Sniffing again, familiar, but not the same. Her eyes slid open. As worn as she felt, she knew that smell. Hers and his. Daryl had been there. Long enough she could still find him. Burying her face deeper into her pillow, she relaxed into the remnant of his scent and fell into a comfortable sleep.

Later, as Daryl returned from his shift in the watchtower, he paused outside her room. Listening. His face relaxed, as the fluid sound of her dreams drifted from her room. Rubbing the ache from the back of his neck, he exhaled softly. She was asleep. In her own room. Her own bed. It was a start. Minutes later he stretched out on his own bed and let the night claim him. His demons temporarily at peace.

**A/N To all who read, follow, and review, Thank You! Thank You! You make writing fun. A**


	18. Rook

18 - Rook

Morning came too soon. Dragging herself from her bed. It was her day to help with breakfast. Slipping into fresh clothes, she joined Carol in the common kitchen. Following directions. Measuring. Mixing. Pouring. Sliding pans on and off the stove. Stacking plates, grabbing silverware. Finally, as drops of perspiration ran down the side of face, he strolled in. Grabbing a bowl and a spoon, nodding to her, "Come on." Quickly untying her apron and draping it over a chair, she waved to Carol and followed him outside.

As she moved to sit across from him at a picnic table, his hand closed over her wrist, and easily pulled her into the spot next to him. Sitting side by side, their heads close together. Quietly enjoying each other's company. Something they had both been missing. Daryl impulsively tore off a corner of a biscuit, smeared it with jam and raised it to her mouth, feeding her. The corner of his mouth pulling up in a hint of a smile as he watched her lips. Her face.

Their quiet companionship ended with a jolt when Maggie and a reluctant Glenn sat across from them. "So, sis. I didn't see you after dinner last night. Sleep well?" Her questioning sweet, even as she subtle glared at Daryl. "What's on your agenda for today?"

Beth spread her hands flat on the table before her. "I have Judith this morning. And maybe helping with laundry this afternoon."

"We might make a run later. Why don't you skip laundry and come with us? It would do you good to get out of the compound." As Maggie stared at Beth, encouraging her to abandon her chores, Glenn was paying attention to how close she was sitting to Daryl. His expression as he continued to feed her. The way their eyes fleetingly met, when Maggie suggested she leave the prison to go on the run with them.

Abruptly interrupting, Glenn said, "I forgot coffee. Beth, why don't you come help me." Obediently, Beth stood and followed Glenn inside. Reaching the door, Glenn grabbed her arm and pulled her to one side. In a quiet voice, "I'm glad you're back in your own room. I was getting sick of looking for a place to sleep. And, you seem pretty happy today." Pausing for a few moments to look around, he continued in an even quieter voice, "Beth, you're Maggie's sister and that makes you my sister. You're family. And as much as we love Daryl, Maggie's ready to kick his ass right now. She thinks he hurt you."

Mouth slightly open, staring at him, "He didn't. Tell Mag's I'm fine and she needs to relax." After collecting four cups of coffee, Glenn and Beth walked back out to the picnic table where Daryl and Maggie were silently glaring at each other. As Glenn sat next to Maggie, Beth said, "I feel like walking out by the fence with my coffee."

Daryl was standing before she finished speaking. Taking a cup from her, they turned and walked away. "You and Maggie have a nice conversation?"

With a snort, "Yeah."

Beth smiled to herself as she imagined what that conversation must have sounded like.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Playing with Judith in the yard, she suddenly heard Adam's voice call to her. "Hey Beth, come here!"

"Hey Adam. What's up?"

"I have a blanket and some peaches. Maybe Carol could watch Judith for a while, so we can sit in the sun. I see you out here whenever she naps, so…" His smile split his face, almost reaching his ears, as he lifted a hand holding two peaches for her to see.

Beth smiled at the sight of him walking towards her. He always seemed to be all angles, pointy elbows, knobby knees, and sharp shoulders sticking out everywhere. With his height and lack of grace, how he managed to stay upright and not run into everything was a mystery. Raising a hand, she waved back at him, then cooed to Judith, "You are one lucky little girl." Her little blue eyes looked up at her, as Beth made kissy noises on her forehead. Then, handing her off to Carol, Beth started across the yard. With the Governor defeated and their yard cleared and secured against the undead, they were finally able to find moments when they could relax. A little.

"Wow. A plaid blanket. It feels like I'm at a picnic back on the farm." Settling on the side of the blanket where Adam was waiting for her, she graced him with a smile.

Leaning back on an elbow, looking more like a folding lawn chair than a man, Adam waved a hand in her direction. Beth watched as he pulled out a knife and began slicing the peaches into uneven slices. Their sweet, heady fragrance hanging low and heavy in the air. Sitting together, on the blanket, they shared the two peaches, the sticky juice dripping from their fingers. As they ate, they compared stories of what life was like before the turn.

Peaches gone, Beth laid back on the blanket, listening as Adam babbled on about something. He was an unending fountain of words, the continual flow becoming melodic. The melody of words, the sun warm on her face and the smooth breeze almost lulled her to sleep. It was as she stretched her arms back around her head, under her ponytail, that she felt it. A small, flat bump on the side of her neck.

"Shoot!" Sitting quickly, the spell broken "Adam, would you look at this? I think it's a tick."

Leaning in close, "Okay, I have it." With the flick of a match and a scrape of his nail, he removed it. "Wait." Still staring, he ran his index finger along her neck, up under her chin.

Beth abruptly pulled back, "Stop that!" Gathering herself she stood up. Motioning for Adam to stand and help fold the blanket.

Pulling the corners together, he asked "Play chess with me tonight?"

"Sure. Just chess."

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Later, sitting in the common area after dinner, Beth felt the old tingle. The connection she had been missing. As she sat bouncing Judith in her lap, she knew. He was searching for her. She could feel it.

Looking up, from across the room, her eyes found his. He gave her a familiar nod. Dropping Judith off, she followed him outside. Together they sat on the picnic table, shared stories about the day. To those on the outside, it must have looked as if nothing had changed. But there had been a shift, a subtle, almost imperceptible shift. Now it seemed as if everything had changed.

Emotionally, they weren't in the same place. Even if they weren't ready or able to define the new place they were in. And so they sat together, side by side. Unable or unwilling to name and claim the change, the new space they were growing into. The feelings that they had for each other. Feelings which had been growing and evolving for over a year.

"You're spending a lot of time with Adam."

"I think he's lonely."

As if on cue, Adam walked out of the shadows. "Hi Beth. I thought we were going to play chess."

With a "please be patient with this" smile for Daryl, she turned to look up at Adam, "We are. Why don't you set up the board over there." As Adam started unpacking the chess set, Beth stood and whispered, "He needs friends."

Daryl stood, scowling at her back as she walked towards the other picnic table, before he headed to the top of the watchtower.

They played three short games. Beth found herself check-mated in under 10 moves every time. Not completely accidentally. After the third game, as they began putting the pieces back in the box, Adam asked "Do you have to go right in?"

Standing to leave, "Um, pretty much. I'm going up in the watchtower for a minute first. And then go in."

Putting the cover back on the box, his face down, "Isn't that where Daryl went? Are you going up to see him?"

"Um hmm."

Knitting his eyebrows together, the corners of his mouth dragging "Isn't he sort of old?"

Pulling herself to her full height, her posture and face now stern, "No. You should spend some time with him. He could teach you a lot. Like how to survive if you're ever caught outside the fences, again." Turning, she stalked off towards the watchtower, leaving Adam to watch her retreating figure.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

"Hey," Turning, he saw her slight frame leaning against the door.

Raising an eyebrow, "How was chess?"

Loosely holding her own hands behind her back, she slowly moved towards him "I learned that the rook is a pretty powerful piece, it can potentially cover the entire board. But it isn't very effective in a tight endgame. That's when you need the knight." Even in the semi-darkness he could see the pink of her blush creeping up over her cheeks, reddening her ears. And he felt his own heart starting to beat just a little faster. Turning, he looked out over the railing, as electrified air flowed between them. From the corner of his eye, he saw loose strands of gold floating around her face, catching every bit of the available light.

So softly he almost missed her words, "I just came up to say good night, before I went in." The sound of her voice drawing him in, catching him up in her goodness. His breath and ability to reason suddenly sucked from his body.

Lightheaded from her smell, he felt the heat rising in him and was powerless to stop her from stepping into his space. Silently, she looked up at him. And for a timeless moment they were frozen, staring into each other. "Good night." Finally, opening the door, she headed down the stairs to go in. While he leaned over the side of the railing, his breathing shallow and ragged. Grateful that she was gone, even as he missed her presence.

The late shift in the watchtower was getting old. There was never much to see this late. It was always dark by now. But, it had to done. And it was better if Beth was asleep before he went in.

An unexpected noise by the bottom of the watchtower caught his attention. Coming from the blind spot at the very foot of the tower. Staring into the shadowy darkness he tried to discern what the sound was. Scraping and unidentifiable muffled voices reached his ears. Probably just Glenn and Maggie again. Relaxing against the railing, he lit a cigarette and watched as the smoke dissolved into nothingness.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

His shift over, he paused outside her room. Listening. Her breathing muted, uneven. Her movements restless. Exhaling heavily, he moved the three doors down to his own room. Looking forward to collapsing in his own bed.

And that night, his demons taunted him as a girl with a gold halo waited, just beyond his grasp.


	19. Shadows

19 - Shadows

Morning was early and damp. The sky was bluish grey. The air felt solid, heavy. As if it could crash to the ground at any moment. And no one was in a hurry to get up. Looking outside the formidable grey walls of their dorm-like cell block, Beth tired of waiting for Maggie and Glenn and went to their cell to wake them.

Standing just outside their room, in a loud stage whisper Beth called "Mag's! Come on. It's time to get up."

Pulling the curtain open three inches, just enough to look out, "Shh. Glenn is still sleeping. Well, he was sleeping."

Beth's eyes explored her sister's face, her hands pushing the curtain aside as she stepped into the cell. Her movements forcing her sister back. With a low voice, "I need to talk to you. Now. Before breakfast, you know, before anyone else" her head and eyebrows nodding up, "gets up."

With her arm around Beth's shoulder, pulling her further into the cell and physically closer to herself, Maggie whispered near her ear "What's going on?" Concern and frustration doing battle in her voice.

Excruciatingly aware of the close proximity of people in cells on either side of them. Beth pulled Maggie in close to her. Sitting on the rumpled bottom bunk, where Glenn was still under the blanket, wringing her hands, whispering. "Hey Glenn. Sorry to do this to you, again. Maggie, you have to help me. And Daryl can't know."

Lips pursed, her voice tight, Maggie asked "Beth, what is going on?"

Lightly rubbing her cheeks with her hands, then letting them drop to her lap where they tightly held onto each other. Hissing, "Keep your voice down. It's Adam. He's not… right. Yesterday he helped me with a tick." Raising one hand just above her shoulder, "It was right here, on my neck. He got it, because I asked him to, but he didn't..." Raising her shoulders with a shudder, "He kept touching my neck. It really creeped me out. I had to tell him to stop."

Glenn rubbed the sleep from his eyes, as he sat next to Beth, listening to the conversation. Sitting on Beth's other side, Maggie said, "Okay. Well, maybe he just has bad social skills. Maybe he doesn't understand personal space and boundaries."

Beth turned to look her sister in the eye, "No, that's only part of it. When I helped him find a new room, none of the other students wanted him around. That's how he initially ended up over here. When Daryl made him move, he seemed to be trying so hard. I felt sorry for him. But now, every time I turn around, he's there."

Reaching over to hold her sister's hand, with a patronizing smile, smoothly "Sweetie, don't you think you're over reacting. Just a little? You said yourself he doesn't have many friends."

Jerking her hand away, her voice raising "Yeah, well now I know why he doesn't have many friends. I'm telling you, Mag, he's **not right**. Last night, I played chess with him, then I went up in the watchtower for a bit. And when I came down, he was there waiting for me. It was creepy. Not only was he waiting, he starting asking me all these personal questions. About Daryl and… stuff. I got so flustered and upset…"

Glenn now fully awake, lightly scratching his scalp, it was his turn to ask, "What happened?"

Her hands raised, fingers slightly apart, she stared at them as if there was an answer written on her palms, "I slapped him! I didn't even think about it. I just hauled off and slapped him. Hard."

Glenn and Maggie stealthily exchanged glances, Glenn asked "What did he do? Are you okay? Did he hurt you?"

"No, no. Not physically. He's just…" Shrugging, "He's not right."

Maggie patted Beth's hand, humoring her, and said, "We believe you. Let's go eat. And then we'll talk to Rick."

Nodding, "Okay. Just don't tell Daryl about this. Not yet. I don't want him to get all, you know."

Fifteen minutes later, Maggie and Glenn walked Beth over to the common kitchen for breakfast. The three of them linking arms, Beth in the middle. They were still a bit early. There weren't many people gathered around the inside tables yet. The heaviness of the outside air causing moisture to bead up on the grey concrete inside walls. Making the room feel denser and more oppressive than normal. And with the threat of rain, there wasn't anyone hanging around outside.

Maggie, Glenn and Beth each grabbed some oatmeal before heading outdoors. If asked, they would have all said that they wanted to enjoy the fresh air as long as possible. But the truth was they wanted to sit in the empty area. Where they could talk a little more freely. After just a few minutes, Daryl joined them. Sitting next to Beth, quietly observing the silent dynamics between Beth and her sister and new brother. Aware of the soundless conversation flowing around him. A conversation he wasn't a part of.

As the four of them sat silently, Adam walked up. His cheek colorful and swollen under his left eye. "Hey Beth."

Digging her fingers into the edge of her seat, her mouth slightly open, looking first at Maggie, then at Daryl, "Hey."

With his familiar gaping grin, "I thought maybe we could play chess after breakfast."

Beth could feel her heart pounding in her ears, and not in a good way. Maggie and Glenn were both staring at her, subtle shaking their heads no. Her mouth now thin and tight, Beth looked up at Adam, and in the firmest voice she could muster, "No, I can't play chess with you anymore."

Adam's mouth working, but no words coming out, he looked down at Daryl then back at Beth, before turning and disappearing across the courtyard. Turning towards Beth, Daryl asked "What was that?"

Avoiding his eyes, Beth was breathing heavily as if to catch her breath. Running her fingers up the side of her face, to smooth invisible strands of hair back into her ponytail, she answered him saying "I don't want him to get the wrong idea." Without even seeing his eyes, she could feel his mind working. Trying to figure out what he saw on Maggie and Glenn's face. What he must have heard in her voice. It was hard for her to keep things from him. But this would just make him crazy. "I need to talk to Rick. Would you walk with me, please?"

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

In silence they crossed the grass towards where Rick and Carl were already at work. The heavy air striking her in the face, like a physical force. Pushing the chill all the way into her bones. Shoving her hands into her pockets, Beth hurried to walk closer to Daryl. As her shoulder bumped into his arm, he automatically adjusted his longer steps to match her shorter ones. And the heat which always seemed to roll off of him, poured over her.

Approaching the pig pen and vegetable garden, they saw Rick and Carl with hoes working in the cucumbers. The unmistakable stench of the pig pen overwhelming the light, delicate smell of the cucumbers and other vegetables. With a forced cheerfulness, Beth called out to their friends, waving. "Hey Rick, Carl!" Rick pulled off his gloves and wiped the dirt on his face around. Holding the top of the hoe Rick watched their approach, as Carl squinted beside him.

Reaching the garden, the four engaged in a few minutes of small talk. Then, Beth made a vague excuse about needing something for Judith and dragged Rick around to the other side of the pig shed. She knew that Daryl wondered what they were talking about. Why she wanted to talk to Rick, alone. And what it was that she didn't want him to know. But she wasn't ready to share.

Daryl absently chatted with Carl about the vegetables, as he watched Beth and Rick over the top of the shed. They appeared to be having an animated discussion. With Beth doing most of the talking. At one point, it seemed as if they intentionally moved out of his sight for a couple of minutes. As they came back into his eyesight, Beth's crochet jacket was open and she seemed to be examining the front of her shirt.

Daryl watched as Rick and Beth strolled back around the pig pen, both laughing at something. Beth re-buttoning her jacket. Getting closer to the fence Daryl was resting against, Rick called out to him "Can you make a run today?" Daryl looked from Rick to Beth as he nodded his assent. Rick added, "Beth and Carl will go with you." As Daryl went to pull up the car, Rick handed Carl back his gun and instructed him to "Stay with Beth, so she doesn't have to kill any walkers. And, carry her backpack for her." Pleased with his father's trust and having his gun back, Carl started off across the field for the car at a half run. A measured grin splitting his face.

Turning back towards Beth, Rick carefully rested his grubby hand on her shoulder as he said "Carl won't say anything. But, you should tell Daryl. While you're gone, I'll talk to Adam. We'll get this taken care of."

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Later, after returning from the run, as people began to gather for dinner, Beth went upstairs to her own room. Taking a long look up and down the hall, to make sure it was empty, she closed the curtain to her narrow cell. Before stuffing her backpack under her bunk, she took out a bag that she had smuggled back from the run. Sitting on her bottom bunk, she pulled out several bottles of painkiller. After examining the labels, she shook out four Ibuprofen. With a sharp tip of her head, she grimaced and swallowed the pills without water. Then tightening the lid, she hid the bottles at the bottom of her top dresser drawer. Standing, Beth forced herself to take a deep breath. The pain bringing tears to her eyes. Exhaling, she held her side. Okay, time to shake it off. And get downstairs before anyone notices my absence.

Pushing her curtain open, stepping into the hall, she checked her walkway. No one. Then glancing over the railing, she gasped as she saw Adam standing below, staring up at her. With a jump, Beth turned and fled back into her room. Pulling the curtain. Holding her breath. Eyes wide, darting from side to side. Oh God. Now what do I do? If I close the door and it locks, how would I get out? Knees bending, sliding down the wall towards the floor. After endless time, catching in her breath, she ventured a peek out of the curtain. The entire cell block was empty.

Beth made her way to the common area, where people were gathering for dinner. A quick glance revealed Maggie and Glenn were already there. Hurrying over to them, Beth squeezed in between them to sit down. With her head tipped sideways towards Maggie, Beth whispered "He was in our cell block. Just looking up where my room is."

As Maggie turned to stare at her sister, Beth continued to scan the dreary room. Searching for Daryl. Spotting Rick, Carl and little Judith at one of the picnic tables, she quietly excused herself and walked over to where they were sitting. "Hey guys. Rick, I know that lately you've been more Farmer Brown than Local Sheriff," her eyes reflecting a cautious gratitude. "But you're still the one we go to for…help with stuff. I just want to say thank you again and make sure you know how much I appreciate what you're doing for me."

Rick scratched at his beard, his eyebrows wandering, "Yeah, I know. I haven't seen… Anything new since we talked earlier?" Sinking to the bench next to him, in a hushed tone, Beth told him about Adam being in her cell block. Rick listened seriously, his whole face scrunching into a concerned frown, as he scanned the now crowded room. Slowly nodding, "All right. Stay with Maggie and Glenn tonight."

Walking back across the room, towards Maggie and Glenn, Beth's head swiveled from side to side. Watching for Adam. For Daryl. Reaching the place where her sister was sitting, she was relieved that she hadn't seen Adam. And even better, Daryl was standing next to the table. Her eyes brightening when she spotted him. Coming close, Beth looked up affirming their connection, before leaning against him. Lightly resting her head against Daryl's chest, grasping his larger hand with her small one. Eyes closed, a hum of relief escaping her lips. Safe. She could feel his breath on the side and back of her neck, and knew his head was bent down towards her. "I'm glad you're here. I need to talk to you." I need you.

Walking outside together, they sat side by side on the picnic table. Staring out into the darkness. The courtyard quiet, empty of people and the night closing in around them.

Scooching as close to him as she could get, without sitting in his lap, Beth started "I know I should have told you this morning. But, I'm telling you now." Haltingly, Beth told Daryl the same story she had shared with Maggie and Glenn earlier. And how just before dinner, she had seen Adam in their cell block. Twice she asked him to just listen, saying that she would answer any questions when she was done. As she talked, Daryl pulled her hand into his lap and held it with both of him. Stroking the back of her hand with his thumb. And despite the gentle, reassurance in his touch, she could feel the ever present anger in him rising to the surface.

Finally finished with her story, she was silent. Eyes narrow, the corner of his lip lifting, Daryl asked "So he got that shiner from you." Beth saw his approval in his expression, she felt it in his voice.

With a sly smile, "Yeah."

Daryl's expression was unreadable, "And that's what you wanted to talk to Rick about."

"Yeah."

His voice slightly accusatory, "Before you told me."

Her shoulders sinking, Beth answered him, "He's the law. So…" Daryl nodded. "I know it's early, but I'm exhausted."

In smooth silence, Daryl slid off the top of the picnic table. Holding a hand out to Beth, he said "Come on."

Beth slowly pushed herself up, off the picnic table, before taking his hand. Grateful for his presence, secretly wishing she could melt into him. "Rick said I should stay with Maggie and Glenn tonight." Together they started towards their cell block.

As they walked across the yard, Daryl leaned over to whisper something to Beth. While Adam watched from the shadows.


	20. Opening Moves

20 - Opening Moves

It was still early, but the sun had already set. The darkness of night wrapping itself around the prison. Embracing the people who called it home. For some the darkness brought a needed time of rest. For others, the darkness of night was camouflage for romance or mischief making. And for still others, the darkness was a reminder that nightmares no longer lurked in closets or under the bed, but instead freely roamed the countryside.

After a particularly stressful day, stressful couple of days, Beth was exhausted. And scared. The darkness of night brought her no rest. After months on the road, always on guard against the undead, it seemed almost ironic. Suddenly the most frightening thing in her world, was another person. Where the undead could be defeated or outsmarted because they had no brains, no conscious thought. The living were intentional with their wickedness. They could plot, plan, and wait for the perfect moment. For Beth, it was not knowing the what or when that was particularly terrifying. And exhausting.

Pushing open the curtain to Maggie and Glenn's room, Beth was once again struck by how small the cells were. Compared to what they had left behind, it seemed barely larger than a closet. Yet, somehow Glenn and Maggie had taken that small space and turned it into a home that reflected their personalities. They had turned it into a warriors den. A couple wallet size family photos were taped to the wall. A light scarf softened the top of the metal dresser, holding a clutter of personal items, ammo and weapons. Two long guns were leaning against the wall in the corner. A special worn blue blanket covered the bed. Special because they had shared almost every night together either on it, under it, or wrapped up in it. And the smell of sex permeated the air.

Sitting on the edge of the bottom bunk, she was so tired she could hardly keep her eyes open. Daryl must have seen the exhaustion on Beth's face and in her slumping shoulders. Kneeling on the floor in front of her and with an unexpected gentleness from one who was normally so gruff, he helped her pull her boots off. Looking up from under his choppy dark hair, with a calloused hand reaching for the cuff of her jacket, he said "Come on. Take this off so you can sleep."

With a start, suddenly awake, eyes wide, Beth grabbed at the front of her jacket pulling it tightly around herself with both hands. "No. I want this." In the muted light, the bright blue of her eyes against her unusually pale skin and gold halo, gave her an ethereal look. Both fragile and other-worldly at the same time. For a moment, Daryl held his breath as he looked at her. Reluctantly, he helped her pull out the band which held her hair back, letting her halo escape. Carefully laying down, Beth continued to clutch the jacket around herself, as a high pitched whine escaped her lips. As she closed her eyes, Daryl gently pulled a blanket up over her.

When she was finally tucked into Maggie's lower bunk, Daryl stepped into the hall, checking to see if it was still empty. Then, pulling the metal chair over to the side of the bed, and dumping the wastebasket as he turned it over, Daryl settled in. Feet up on the wastebasket. Crossbow in hand, loaded. Keeping watch. No one was getting past him. Looking at her reclining form in the bunk, he watched as she tossed and turned. Her hands never letting go of the jacket. Quiet groans and whines periodically emanated from between her clenched teeth. With every pain filled motion or sound, his demons clawed at him, his ever present anger rising to a low boil.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

It was the middle of the night when Daryl heard Maggie outside her cell, stamping around and clearing her throat. Finally, pushing the curtain open, she stepped inside. Using her fingers to comb her loose dark hair back behind her ear, she leaned over him, into the bunk to check on her sister. "Hey Daryl. Have you been here with her the whole time?"

Turning his face towards the bunk where Beth was sleeping, "Yeah."

Straightening, then leaning against the top bunk, Maggie asked, "How long has she been tossing around like this?"

His arms tensing slightly, Daryl said "It's been getting worse. She's hurting somewhere."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know." Seeing Beth in pain had triggered old memories in him. Memories, that by day, he desperately tried to deny. Memories which caused his demons to attack.

"Okay." Briefly Maggie looked back at Beth, before saying, "Well, it's nice of you to look out for her."

"I promised your dad I'd look after her." I promised myself I'd look after her. And I'm not going to break those promises.

Maggie crossed her arms and looked at the back of Daryl's head, as he was turned towards Beth. "I remember that promise. Daddy asked you to look out for her around your group while we were still on the farm. Back when we were two separate groups. That was over a year ago. I think you watch after her now, for you." Daryl grunted, but didn't dispute what Maggie said. "If you're wondering, I'm okay with that. You're good for her, and I think she's good for you." Pausing, "I'm just saying." Daryl dipped his head avoiding her eyes, as he scratched at the ever present scruff on his chin. Listening to Maggie speak, his eyes darkened as the edge of his lip pulled up in a slight smile. Privately pleased with Maggie's affirmation of his presence in Beth's life.

Still smiling, he looked back at Maggie. He started to open his mouth, then it snapped close momentarily. "What's that in your hand?" Daryl demanded.

Looking down, Maggie rolled two small items around in her hand. Nonchalantly shrugging, "I don't know. Just a couple of little toys or game pieces. They were right outside the curtain. One of the kids must have left them there."

"Give them here." Standing, he propped his crossbow against the side of the bed, then took the game pieces from her. After looking at them for a few seconds, Daryl violently yanked the curtain open and stepped out into the hall. In a rage he looked up and down the hall, looking for signs of movement, for Adam. Turning back towards Maggie, "These are pawns. Chess pieces. Damn it! How'd he know Beth was here?" His face twisted with frustration, his eyes narrowing, he threw the pieces down the hall. Maggie flinched as the game pieces clattered along the cement floor. "He was here and I didn't hear him. Where's Glenn?"

Maggie stepped back away from him, and unconsciously checked for her gun. At Daryl's angry outburst her mouth had dropped open slightly and she could feel her stomach begin to churn. "Um, he um, went to Beth's room to get some sleep. I'll get him."

With a loud growl, "Go! And search her room. See if she's got pain meds, or sleeping pills or something in there." Daryl stood in the doorway to Maggie's room, watching as she ran off, taking the stairs two at a time. When she disappeared at the top of the stairs, he turned and went back into her room. Sitting on the chair next to the bed where Beth was sleeping, his face softened almost imperceptibly as he smoothed the blanket that covered her. Bending over, close to her face, he whispered "Beth, I'm going to get that son-of-a-bitch. I promise." Sitting up, he watched as her eyes fluttered open, meeting his. What could pass for a faint smile crossed her face and she let out a small hum, before she closed her eyes again.

Standing, he began pacing outside Maggie's room. When Maggie and Glenn came down the steps, he stomped over to meet them. Glenn yawning, his hand covering his face, eyes still half closed, "Glenn, you awake in there?" Daryl demanded. "Go sit with Beth. And stay awake. I'm going after him."

Rubbing the sleep out of his eyes, Glenn said "Don't. It's the middle of the night. Even you can't track in the dark. Wait until it starts to get light out."

Maggie added, "Glenn's right. You need to sleep, too. We'll keep watch. You'll get him in the morning." Breathing heavily, Daryl stalked back into their room. Setting his crossbow in the corner and pushing the chair out of the way, he threw himself down on the floor. Folding his arms behind his head, he stared at the ceiling, as Maggie and Glenn exchanged glances.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Despite his self determination to stay awake, laying on the cement floor, Daryl couldn't help but fall asleep. Exhaustion, from worry and being on point for too many hours, took over and sleep claimed him. A restless, tortured sleep. His demons haunting him. And at the first glimmer of light, he was awake. Watching Beth sleep. Finally accosting Maggie, who was sleeping in the top bunk. "When you searched Beth's room, did you find anything?"

Eyes closed, her voice hoarse with sleep, "Yeah. But she was sleeping and I didn't want to wake her."

Daryl began shaking Maggie's shoulder. "Wake her now and give her something. I'm leaving. I'm going to find that asshole." Maggie pushed herself up on one elbow and watched as Daryl grabbed his crossbow and left the cell. As the curtain closed behind him, Maggie rolled over on her back groaning softly before she sat up.

As he headed out, he stopped at Rick's cell. First rapping on the outside wall, then whistling in a low tone to get his attention. Finally sticking his head in, Daryl summoned Rick with a nod. Without speaking, Rick rolled out of his bunk, strapped on his Colt and stepped out of his room yawning. The two men, brothers by choice, walked through the musty cell block to the outdoors. A strained silence hanging over them. Crossing the cement yard, the morning mist hovered low over the ground. Softening the harsh prison lines. Coating every surface with a dangerous slickness. As they walked, Rick finally broke the silence, saying "Beth didn't want anyone to worry about her. Or cause a commotion. She thought what happened would blow over."

"Yeah?"

"Yeah. Talk to her. Don't worry, we'll find him."

Rick took the lead walking through Adam's cell block, Daryl half a step behind on his left. In the early hour, the quiet reverberated. The sound of their footsteps bouncing off the cool cement walls. As they slowly walked past the cells, several students came out and began whispering among themselves. Finally, one was brave enough to ask "Are you looking for Adam?"

Daryl and Rick exchanged glances, before Rick said "Yeah. Which room is his?" A couple students pointed them towards his room. A white, crooked sheet covered the entrance. As Rick and Daryl positioned themselves on either side of his cell door, students began to gather in the hall two cells down. Looking back over his shoulder, Rick waved the students away. As the students started to melt back into the open cell doors, Rick's right hand went to the grip of his Python, while Daryl took the left side of the door. His crossbow loaded, ready. On his signal, Rick roughly pulled back the white sheet, while Daryl simultaneously stepped into the messy room. Empty. It was obvious that no one had been inside the room for a couple of days.

Looking around, it was unclear if the room had been ransacked and hastily cleared of something, or simply abandoned. Bowls with scraps of encrusted food stuck to the sides and little bugs wandering around the bottom were piled up on top of the metal dresser. Grubby spoons were scattered next to them. The bottom drawer of the dresser was half open, a large vacant spot in the drawer suggesting that something had recently been removed. Dirty clothes littered the floor and were smushed on and under the bottom bunk. Stacked up on the top bunk were legal pads, filled with pencil drawings. Pages pulled from the pads seemed to be randomly taped to the wall next to the bottom bunk. Every page covered with crudely drawn images of Beth or Beth and Daryl together. And in every drawing, Daryl's face was missing. In some his face was simply left blank, while in others it was either scratched out or his head was completely torn off.

Soundlessly, Rick and Daryl exchanged glances. Setting down their respective weapons, Daryl started pulling out the dresser drawers, searching through the contents. While Rick began tossing the bunk bed. Both looking for something, anything that would lead them to Adam. With the mattress from the bottom bunk on the floor, Rick said "Look at this."

Turning, Daryl saw Rick holding an open cigarette hard pack. Looking closer, inside he saw a wisp of blonde hair. And a chess piece. The white queen. Grabbing his crossbow, Daryl said "He knows where she is." And turning, he ran out of the cell, back towards Maggie and Glenn's. With Rick close behind.


	21. Castling

21 - Castling

Adam's room apparently abandoned, Rick and Daryl went back outside. Heads down, running through the mist. Both cursing under their breath. Sliding on the slick concrete. Heading back to their own cell block, breathing heavily. After searching Adam's room, it was obvious to both men that there was something seriously "not right" about him. What had once appeared to be perhaps a misunderstanding between Adam and Beth, had suddenly escalated to something which seemed much more ominous. They were convinced that he was dangerous to Beth. Maybe dangerous to others. Especially given the close quarters of the prison. With people living virtually on top of one another.

Racing through the cell block, not caring how much noise they made. One of their own, their "family" was in danger. Skidding to a stop in front of Maggie and Glenn's cell, Rick ripped their curtain open. Stepping inside the small cell, Rick gasped for breath as he looked around the empty cell. Daryl almost running into him, as he slid to a stop. Rick's eyes ran around the cell, taking in all the details. The two longs guns, the photos on the wall, small items on top of the dresser, bed made. Everything neat and clean. Nothing to indicate a struggle. No obvious evidence that Beth had been there at all. Soundlessly, Rick turned to look back at Daryl. Shrugging, Daryl knelt down on the floor to look under the bunk. In case there was something or someone hiding under there. Looking up, he shook his head from side to side. Maggie and Glenn's room was empty.

Silent conversation flowed between the two men. With a nod, they both took off at a slow run. Through the cool cell block, down the steps to the lower level, towards the showers. Rounding the last corner, they could hear water running. Stopping outside the main curtain for a second, just long enough to peek inside. Empty. Stepping inside, Daryl positioned himself at the exit, as Rick slowly started moving down the row of individual changing rooms and showers. With a hand on his Python, Rick walked to the first pulled curtain and whispered "Beth?" A man's voice growled out at him. At the next curtain, the same. One by one Rick checked all ten showers. Walking back to the exit, shaking his head, the two men headed back out into the cell block.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Reaching the showers, Beth grabbed a clean towel and washcloth as Maggie walked on ahead. Glenn reached out and grabbed Beth's sleeve to prevent her from following Maggie. When her sister returned, nodding to her that it was empty, Beth walked into the shower area alone. Ready to get the events of the previous day rationalized and filed away. To make life feel normal. Ready to be done with her self appointed body guards. Undecided whether to feel relieved that Maggie and Glenn were being so protective. Or irritated by their overreaction. Undecided because now she wasn't sure it was an overreaction.

With Maggie and Glenn keeping watch outside the showers, Beth walked into a private shower and dressing area. Slowly she peeled off her jacket and the clothes she had slept in. Leaning into the long mirror, she examined her exposed skin. Looking at her left arm she found a vivid purplish black bruise, in the shape of a hand print. Poking it with her right index finger, she cringed at the sting. Turning slightly, she saw a smaller, lighter bruise on her right wrist. Already turning yellow and green, with less of sting when she poked it. Holding her breath, she moved closer into the mirror and began looking at the swollen black, blue, and purple bruises over her ribs. Stretching from her side, around to the front, with extended yellow discoloration. Pressing into it lightly with her fingertips, tears welled in her eyes. After a couple shallow breaths, she held onto her side and took a deep breath. Slowly exhaling. Before stepping into the shower and turning on the water.

Beth emerged from the shower feeling more like herself than she had in two days. Her skin pink from being scrubbed, her hair wet but clean. Already beginning to pull up in waves around her face. Walking next to Maggie, with Glenn trailing them, they went back up to her room. Beth dropped her dirty clothes in a little white wicker hamper. Poking through a tangle of jewelry on the doily on top of her dresser, she looked for earrings and a band for her hair. Squinting into the little oval mirror above the dresser, she suddenly set the earrings down. Turning to Maggie, in a low voice Beth said, "My queen is gone. I had a white queen right here," pointing to a spot in front of the mirror, in the middle of the dresser top. "Adam gave it to me and I put right here where I could see it from my bed. Do you think…"

After exchanging looks with Maggie, Glenn said "Where's your gun? Your knife? Get them."

For the first time since they had defeated the Governor, Beth opened her bottom dresser drawer and pulled out her weapons. First strapping on her knife. Then loading her small Colt Special, which she slid it into her pocket. Telling her sister and brother, "I hope you're wrong. I hope I don't need these. But, I'm done being afraid."

"Good. You're safer that way." Beth, Maggie and Glenn all turned at the sound of Daryl's voice from the edge of the cell. Relieved to see Daryl and Rick standing just outside the door. Without hesitation Beth crossed the cell, wrapping her arms around Daryl. Her cheek resting against his chest, he pulled her in a little closer. Exchanging looks with Maggie, Glenn and Rick above her head.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Without a spoken word, the five drifted over to the common kitchen. The familiar smells of oatmeal and biscuits drifting through the cell block. The sun was up, people were beginning to gather. A low hum of conversation filled the air. After grabbing bowls and spoons, they settled at a picnic table away from the crowd. Sitting in silence they all picked at their food. After minutes of pushing cold oatmeal around their bowls, it was Beth who broke the silence. "I take it you didn't find Adam."

After stretching his face, Rick looked up, leading with his eyebrows, saying "No. Not yet. But, we'll keep looking. He's here somewhere." An uncomfortable silence of unspoken words and unasked questions haunting them. Finally, Rick asked Beth "Did you tell Maggie and Glenn everything you told me?"

Head down, turning her biscuit into crumbs, "No."

Rick's head low, looking at Beth, then around the table, "Well, I think you need to tell them now."

Beth's lips pressed together, pushing the bowl to the center of the table. Then resting her hands in front of her on top of the table, before looking up at Rick. "It just seems so ridiculous. I came out of the watchtower, and Adam was there. I think he was waiting for me, because he right away started asking me all these questions about… stuff." Pausing, to glance at Daryl, "They were personal. I started to walk away and he grabbed my arm. It scared me. I tried pulling away and then I slapped him." At this, Maggie reached out and put a reassuring hand on her arm. Beth turned her head to look at her sister for a minute before continuing.

"I tried to pull free, but he just squeezed tighter. And somehow he got a hold of my other arm. It happened so fast. He had a hold of both my arms. I was pulling back away from him, and I don't know if he pushed me or I broke free. But, somehow I flew into a picnic table. Hard. It was one of the really heavy ones set in concrete. And then I hit the seat before I finally landed on the ground." Pausing for a moment, "I think it scared him. Because when I looked up, he was running off." As Beth stopped speaking, Maggie let go of her arm and pulling Beth's head closer to her own, pressing a kiss into the side of her sister's head. Comforting her, as one would a frightened child. And reassuring herself that everything would be fine. "I'm okay. I got some bruises, but that's all."

With a tight swallow, Maggie asked, "How do you know it's just bruises? Did you have daddy look at it?"

Shaking her head, Beth said "No. I told Rick everything and asked him to take a quick look. I figured being a deputy, he must have had some EMS training. And he would know what to do."

With an accusatory look, Maggie stared at Rick, "You knew all this, and didn't tell us? We didn't even know Beth was hurt!"

Snorting, Daryl said, "Then you weren't paying attention. I knew before we even left on the run." Turning to Beth, "I figured you'd tell me when you were ready. Last night, today and tonight will be the worst. You'll start feeling better tomorrow."

Glenn laid his spoon in the bowl as he pushed it towards the center. Turning towards Rick, who was seated next to him, Glenn asked "So what is this?" Glancing across at Beth, who was sitting between Maggie and Daryl, then back at Rick, "How worried do we need to be? Is he stalking Beth? Or is it just bad social skills?"

Rick nodded slowly scratching at his curly grey beard, then wrapped his hand around his coffee cup as he surveyed the faces around the table. "Yeah. It's classic stalker behavior. Before the turn we called it the Incompetent Suitor. Poor social skills. Hanging around all the time. Fixated on someone who's already involved with someone else. Leaving her presents, those two pawns you found outside your room." Pausing briefly, "Coming back around like nothing happened, after he grabbed you and you slapped him, Beth. It can escalate to breaking in and taking personal things. Usually they're not violent, just annoying. But this time, I don't know. There's no one definite pattern. And being all cooped up in here. Living on top of each other. That can't help."

Looking at Maggie, then back to Rick, Glenn asked "So what does that mean? What do we do now?"

Daryl said "Well, I'm going hunting. I'll find him."

Chuckling, Rick said "Yeah. We need to find Adam. And until we do, you're going to have lots of friends, Beth. You can hang out with Carl today."

Frowning in frustration, Maggie asked "Why didn't you just take care of it yesterday? He stopped by our table in the morning."

Nodding again, Rick answered her "Yeah. That would have been easier, but we didn't really know what it was yesterday morning. It might have been a misunderstanding. Now we know."

"Hey Beth." It was Carol. The small group had been so engrossed in their conversation, they hadn't really eaten, or even noticed Carol walk over to them. "I have something here. Let's see." Beth looked up at her, as Carol began humming as she dug around in the pockets of her apron. "Here it is. That nice young man, what's his name? Adam, maybe?"

At the sound of his name, Glenn, Daryl, and Rick all started to stand, with Rick interrupting "How long ago, Carol? When did he leave? Did you see which way he went?"

Stammering, Carol answered "It was probably an hour or so. I… I had just walked in to start setting up and he was sitting at a table over on the other side of the room. Is there something wrong?"

"No. It's okay. Thank you." Allowing Carol to place the small package in her hand, Beth looked at Rick, her face ashen. Hands trembling slightly, she began unwrapping the paper from the outside of the package. "This paper has a picture drawn on it. Eww. It's me and… him." Laying the paper on the table, she inhaled slightly as she looked at the hard pack that the paper had been wrapped around. Opening it, she swallowed hard and said "It's the white king. And, oh my gosh." Dropping the items she held, in a barely audible whisper, "Hair. He gave me… his hair."

Daryl covered Beth's hand with his larger one, squeezing slightly, reassuringly, and said "So, earlier when you said escalate, you meant things like the drawings, the king. And the… hair."

Rick exhaled, as he rubbed the back of his neck with his hand. Looking first at Daryl, then the rest of the little group, before his eyes came to rest on Beth. "Yeah. That's not good. He's escalating. Fast. We have to find him. Before he **really** hurts somebody."


	22. Checkmate

22 - Checkmate

Rick, Maggie, Glenn, Daryl and Beth gathered for a tense breakfast. Whispered conversation swirled around the events of the previous two days. No one was eating. Oatmeal congealed in the bowls. Biscuits were crumbled. Ignored coffee turned cold. And Adam was in the wind. After putting together a loose plan, as a group, they stood to leave.

Turning to Rick with a final question, Beth asked "What are you going to do to Adam if you catch him?"

Rick eyes drifted to the ground, as he rubbed the back of his neck. Resting his hand on the grip of his Python and looking up at Beth, he swallowed hard. "When we catch him. I don't know. Maybe we'll just take him and leave him somewhere. Give him some supplies for a week or so, and let him find another group."

Beth reached for Rick's arm, the pitch of her voice rising. "Rick, you can't. That's a death sentence. He doesn't know how to kill walkers."

Daryl studied Beth's face, as Maggie and Glenn turned towards Rick. Waiting for his response. Rick looked at the small group that was standing in front of him, then back at Beth. "Well, after we catch him we'll figure it out."

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Rick and Daryl headed into the tombs, the lower levels where no one wanted to go. Where it was always dank, musty and cold. Where there was an ever present danger of walkers appearing from the shadows. While the tombs had been repeatedly searched and checked for breaches, it seemed somehow every time they had to go down there, they found more walkers. No one had ever been able to find the hole where the walkers were getting in. Just dead rotting flesh and slick, damp floors and walls. Even in a world where the dead rise up to eat the living, this was possibly the grimmest place either of them had ever been.

Walking through the corridors, weapons at the ready, balancing flashlights. Opening every door, checking in every cell, searching for Adam. An hour passed without speaking or finding anything. After checking yet another death row cell, exhaling heavily, Daryl said "I brought that kid here."

Ducking as he started shining the flashlight into the next cell, Rick nodded, "Yeah, I know. You brought a lot of people here. Good people."

Daryl leaned over, squinting into the cell, "Yeah, but that one. If I hadn't brought him…"

Sighing, Rick answered "This is not on you. When we started bringing people in, the folks from Woodbury, Decatur and the rest. There was bound to be some who didn't fit as well."

Snorting, "A bad fit isn't the same as terrorizing. And Beth, she's so…"

Rick pointed his flashlight down the corridor, grimacing at the shadow monsters it created. "Yeah, I know. Beth's probably the only one here who cared enough to even learn his name."

Daryl chewed the inside of his lip, staring straight ahead, "Yeah. You know, this is my fault." His face tightening again, eyes narrow "I kicked him out of the room I'm in. Beth felt sorry for him. Started talking to him. If I hadn't kicked his ass out of that cell, she wouldn't have been hurt. And we wouldn't be looking for his sorry ass."

Pulling himself to his full height, sternly Rick said "That doesn't matter. He did this. It's not on you. Keep searching."

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

It was a quiet dinner. People gathered in the common room. Rick sitting with his family, Carl and little Judith, on one side of the cool room. While Glenn, Maggie, Beth and Daryl sat together in silence on the other side of the room. The unsuccessful search for Adam heavily hanging over all of them. Each staring into their own plate. Chewing over their own thoughts. Barely looking up at each other. Occasionally, Beth would catch Rick glancing over at their table. Or Daryl looking over towards Rick. She could feel the silent conversation flowing between them. While Maggie and Glenn just shot each other covert looks. Raised eyes, quick winks, half smiles and smirks they thought no one else would notice.

After a bit, Maggie finally gave up the pretense of eating. Standing, she used her fingers to comb her hair back. Glenn looked up at her appreciatively. Then, practically panting, he pushed up from the table. And without a word, they turned and left. Beth and Daryl both turned and watched as they walked outside. Pausing just outside the door, they could no longer keep their hands off each. Their bodies molding together, Beth watched as Glenn ran his hands up Maggie's back, while Maggie let out little giggles.

Turning back towards Daryl, dropping her fork on her plate, Beth said, "Well. So much for dinner."

Daryl let out a low, throaty chuckle, "What's it been, three days?"

Eyes sparkling, for the first time in days, Beth said lightly "Wait, are you keeping count? Of course, that is sort of their code. Make every day count…" Pausing, quietly "because we're not guaranteed tomorrow."

Daryl's face tightened, revealing nothing, "Yeah. Come on." Standing, Beth carried all the dirty dishes across to the dish bin. Stopping for a few moments to softly talk with Rick and Carl. Daryl waited for her inside the door. Shifting his weight from side to side, crossbow on his back, watching her. A reluctant smile pulling at his lip, at the way her halo bounced around her face as she walked towards him. Stepping outside, into the darkness together, Beth reached for Daryl's hand, threading her fingers through his. As he chewed a stray piece of grass, Daryl said "I got guardtower duty for a couple hours. Why don't you go over to Rick's for a while."

Beth shook her head slightly, "No. I'm not hiding or running anymore. I'm sleeping in my own room tonight. I have my gun. I'll be fine." Her face set, summoning her courage, she tugged at his hand. Turning, they silently started through the grass towards their cell block. Her shoulder gently bumping his arm. As she repeatedly walked into him.

...X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…X…

Sliding her curtain open, Daryl loudly cleared his throat. His rough hand pulling his crossbow to his chest, he took a heavy step into Beth's room. His face a mask, barely turning his head, he scanned her room. His eyes drifted over the dresser, bunk, and chair. Missing nothing. Personal photos tucked in the mirror. Earrings scattered on a doily on the dresser. Folded blanket on the bunk. Neat. Clean. Empty. Her smell filling the small room.

Standing outside her cell, Beth rocked back and forth on her toes. Unconsciously wringing her hands in front of her. After a couple minutes, Daryl waved her into her room with a small sideways nod. Stepping past the curtain, she looked around her room with a tight smile which stopped at her teeth. After a final look around, Daryl said "Keep your knife under your pillow. And your gun close. Yell if anything happens."

Beth willed herself to stand still, to hold herself inside, so Daryl wouldn't be worried about her. With her voice level, "Don't worry. I'll be fine."

Nodding, as he took one last look around the small cell, Daryl answered, "I know. Remember, I have watch for a couple of hours. Then I'll be back." Looking her in the eyes, scratching at the scruff on his chin, "Just to, you know, make sure you're okay." With a heavy sigh, tearing his eyes away from her, he turned and walked out. Pulling the curtain closed behind him.

Standing in her cell, staring at the curtain, Beth listened to Daryl's retreating footsteps. Every part of her being screaming that she should run after him. When the last sound had long faded into nothingness, she turned towards the dresser. Resting her elbows on the metal top, Beth looked at her little oval mirror. At her pictures of her mother and father, her brother. At Maggie as a young teenager. And finally, into the mirror. At her own eyes staring back at her. The dark circles under them dragging her whole face down. Her lips a thin flat line, she pulled the elastic band from her hair, watching as her hair slipped into knotted tangles around her face. Picking up her brush, she dragged it through her hair. Her mind relaxing into the soothing repetition. Brushing until her arm ached and a semblance of order returned.

Turning, Beth grasped the edge of her curtain, using her fingers to press it into the very edge of the wall. Well past the door opening. Teeth clenched, she ran her palm all the way around the edge of the curtain, double checking that it was pulled completely closed. In the darkness, she sank onto the bottom bunk. Her fingers trembling as she began to pick at the laces of her boots. After fooling with them for a few minutes she gave up and scooted back on the bunk. Boots still on.

With only a slight hesitation, she pulled out her knife. Tested the blade with her thumb. Then sitting silently. In the dark. Knife in hand. Soundlessly whispered to herself. I am not weak. I am not a victim. I am not weak. I am not a victim. Eyes closed, willing time to pass. Counting the seconds. 60 seconds make a minute. 60 minutes make an hour. Daryl will be back in two hours. That's not that long. I am not weak. I am not a victim.

An hour passed. One to go. There was a rustle in the hall. Then silence. Just someone passing by. Beth exhaled softly, less than an hour left. Counting. More rustling. No one. Counting. I am not weak. I am not a victim. Was that a noise? No. It's nothing.

Suddenly. The curtain fluttered. A whisper. "Hi Beth. I brought you these." And Adam was there. Next to her bunk. His arm outstretched. His hand near her shoulder. Her fingers tightening around the handle of her knife.

Before Beth could open her mouth or even catch her breath, from the depth of the darkness she heard a gun cock, and a voice, "That's far enough." In a second she heard the metallic crunch of Rick's handcuffs as they closed around one of Adam's wrists, and watched as he was dragged out into the hall. His feet shuffling, one arm flailing. And the other end of the handcuff was fastened around the railing.

Finally, breathing heavily, Beth flew out of the cell, throwing herself at Glenn, hugging him around the neck with both arms. "About time!"

His dark hair hanging down on both sides of his face, the slightest of mustaches darkening his upper lip, Glenn's grin stretched across his face. Rocking her side to side in a hug, "At least you could get up and move around. I stood in that corner for almost three hours waiting." Pushing away from her hug, his grin starting to fade, "And I'd do again."

At that, one by one, Maggie, Rick and Daryl all emerged from out of the shadows. Seeing them, Adam twisted around, his breathing erratic. Pulling on the handcuff which kept him pinned to the railing, as if trying to escape. Bouncing on tiptoes, Beth danced away from Glenn, grasping his hand in hers. Dragging Glenn behind her, she went to greet Maggie. With a high pitched squeal of delight, Maggie threw her arms around her sister, and began whispering in her ear as Glenn gathered both women in his arms. Beaming at them and above them. At the same time, taking long, even paces Rick calmly approached Adam, and began speaking to him in a low voice. Gesturing with one hand, attempting to calm him. With chaos swirling around him, Daryl stood silently on the outside of the small group gathered in the corridor. Watching, waiting.

Finally, Rick whistled to Glenn. After moving the end of the handcuff from the railing to Adam's other wrist, the two men began walking Adam down the corridor. As he was being hustled away, Adam turned his head back to stare at Beth. His mouth soundlessly working, as if there were words which simply couldn't or wouldn't come out. Beth found herself watching, looking over Maggie's shoulder, as he disappeared down the steps. Her lips parted, lines forming between her eyes, as she started stumbling towards Daryl.

Reaching his side, Beth wrapped her arms around herself and asked "What's going to happen to him?"

Daryl slid his crossbow on his back and leaned against the railing sideways, "Tonight, the cage downstairs. We'll figure out the rest tomorrow. But, you don't have to worry about it anymore."

With an artificially sweet, high voice, Maggie called to her sister, "Bethy, come here. One last hug before I leave." Beth reluctantly drifted back towards her, concern still hanging on her face. Draping an arm around Beth's shoulder, Maggie pulled her close and quietly whispered in her ear, "Sweetie. For what it's worth, I'm pretty sure he is never, ever going to make the first move. But… he'll follow where ever you go, whatever you start. You understand?"

Beth pushed away from her older sister, her cheeks suddenly pink, from between clenched teeth hissing "Get away from me!"

Smirking, Maggie sauntered past Daryl, her hips swiveling. Pausing, she leaned her head towards him, and in a husky whisper said, "You can thank me later." Forehead crinkling, Daryl watched her walk away before turning towards Beth.


	23. Author's Note

**Author's Note. Thank you everyone who has Read, Followed, Favored, and Reviewed ****Rules Change****. Since July 2nd, it has been viewed over 26,000 times. **

**With a husband, children, and full time work, it has become to time consuming.  
I found I was spending about 16-20 hours a week.  
Maybe I'll be able to come back to it sometime, but for now I can't write any more.  
Because once I start, I can't stop.  
Thanks for reading.**

**Stay in touch, and enjoy season 5. **


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